I’m posting because I’d really appreciate everyone’s opinions.

I’m a broke salaryman and don’t have much time, so I basically stick to coffee and love-hotel intimacy~~ Business hotels don’t even have condoms, and you have to worry about being seen, so I don’t understand why anyone would choose them… From the second meeting onward, I try to arrange to meet at a love hotel whenever possible, saying, “I’m worried about people seeing us.”

You’ve put it very politely, so in a way I can’t say it doesn’t leave a good impression. But, to be blunt, aren’t you basically asking: 1. “I want to be intimate before dinner, but won’t the girl get upset if I say that?” 2. “I don’t have much money, so I want to use a love hotel, but won’t the girl get upset about that too?” Am I misunderstanding? 1. It should be fine. A lot of girls actually prefer it that way because eating first makes them feel bloated. 2. That should be fine too, as long as you don’t skimp on the allowance. You sound like a typical salaryman. I’m sure you’re constantly worrying about what everyone thinks at work too. You should quit and start your own business so you can live freely. Your thinking will become more flexible, and you’ll be able to do things your own way. Stick to your own style. Since it’s ultimately a matter of finding the right match, naturally there will be people you don’t click with. But that’s not where you really need to be considerate. For example, when I give someone their allowance for an adult relationship (intimate) and she says, “Thank you,” I always reply, “Thank you too.” I believe that kind of thoughtfulness is what really matters in this sort of relationship. Both ① and ② are, frankly, just about wanting to look good, aren’t they? I don’t think that’s genuine consideration.

You’ll probably have more fun if you focus on finding someone you feel comfortable meeting casually. When you say business hotels are a burden, do you mean the hassle of making reservations and everything that comes with it? In my case, I usually ask whether they’d prefer to meet there the second or third time around. Most of the people I connect with enjoy drinking, so I’m often embarrassed about my stomach showing. We usually end up saying, “Let’s have a relaxed meal and drinks afterward!” That works better for me too, so I naturally tend to stick with people who are comfortable with that. Since we don’t have to make reservations every time, and we often take a bath together, love hotels are more convenient because they have larger baths. Rather than worrying about what kind of hotel it is, I think what matters more is how much the allowance is, whether you can meet consistently, and whether they’re difficult to deal with. In the end, who you meet is more important than where you meet.

I think you have a solid understanding of relationship clubs. However, it seems that the financial burden may have become too much, leading you to consider switching to app-based compensated dating. I think it would be better to resist that temptation and continue with pride. Incidentally, if you start meeting outside a love hotel, it becomes little different from going to a hotel with a hostess from a delivery-service sex business. Women classified as Type D may actually prefer that, but for women in Types A–C, I don’t think that kind of sex-industry-style date is advisable. Some people may say that there are women who prefer it that way, but that is merely the opinion men imagine women have. Whether women genuinely feel that way is another matter. I have also hardly ever seen feedback from women saying they prefer that kind of arrangement. Of course, there are women who care about efficiency and saving time. Some may prefer to finish within 30 minutes, leave the room immediately afterward, or even get dressed first and leave right away. But I don’t think many men would enjoy that either. If you’re paying ¥50,000 for 30 minutes, it seems far more worthwhile to use a sex-service establishment. I believe relationship clubs are places for adults to enjoy meeting and dating other people—something different from the sex industry. With that in mind: > I’m a little worried that suggesting we spend some time together before dinner might come across as rude. It isn’t rude at all. In fact, that’s probably the usual pattern for a first meeting. Even after the second meeting, it’s generally safest to follow the same format. Of course, some women prefer to have dinner afterward. They may even be in the majority. But in those cases, the subject usually comes up naturally as you become closer and talk more. If the woman brings it up, then you can have dinner afterward. Until then, I think it’s best to have dinner first, followed by the date. Please avoid doing something that resembles compensated dating—being intimate first and then parting ways immediately afterward. If that’s what you prefer, you would be better off using a dating site or dating app rather than a relationship club. > I’m worried that choosing a hotel that isn’t particularly upscale might seem rude or make her feel that she isn’t being valued. Some women do feel that way, while others are perfectly fine with love hotels. At first, you could continue using the kind of hotels you’ve used so far, then switch to a love hotel after seeing how she feels. One thing to keep in mind is that love hotels vary greatly in quality. You should avoid giving the impression that you chose one simply to save money. As a general guideline, I would suggest choosing a hotel that costs more than ¥10,000 for a short stay. However, these days, most love hotels charge over ¥10,000 for a short stay, so ¥10,000 may no longer be enough to feel particularly nice. Around ¥15,000 or more might be a better benchmark. That said, with a regular hotel, you can meet in the lobby, have dinner at the hotel restaurant, and then go straight to the room. With a love hotel, you generally can’t do that, which is the downside. So even if the love hotel is close to the restaurant, I think it would be better to take a taxi. What men consider “close” may feel quite far to a woman. P.S. I see that you wrote, “I choose a business hotel every time.” Business hotels are a bit questionable. On the other hand, you also wrote, “If I choose a hotel that isn’t particularly upscale,” which made me wonder whether you meant a city hotel instead. So which is it?

First, is this question specifically about the second date for a B2-type arrangement? But judging from the rest of the question, maybe not. So I’ll answer based on an ongoing arrangement with a woman. I don’t continue seeing women who are only looking to save time, so we go on all kinds of dates besides dinner. That means our date plans vary every time. However, when you’re going to different places for a date, it naturally works better to go to a hotel at the end rather than at the beginning. (Given the opening hours of various venues, the hotel usually ends up being later anyway.) As for hotels, I increase the allowance when we use a cheaper one, so we usually go to a leisure hotel—the more upscale evolution of a love hotel. A short stay costs around ¥10,000. If we go somewhere a little farther away, we may use a business hotel or a love hotel. Either way, part of the fun of club activities is discussing what we both want and making the plans together. **Update:** I don’t like relationships that revolve mainly around hotels, because it makes me feel as though I’m treating the other person like a sex worker. I prefer relationships where the woman says things like, “I’d love to go here next time!” That said, there are many women who prefer to save time, so I wish profiles would clearly state that.

If I may, I’ll share my dating style as someone who’s already past 60 and offer it as my answer. It’s been eight years since I joined, and after plenty of trial and error, I’ve recently settled into the following approach. Regardless of the dating type, I don’t take off my own underwear—or ask her to take it off—unless she says she really wants to take things to an adult relationship. (You probably think that’s impossible, right? But it’s not.) The issue then is the allowance. At present, I ask for ¥50,000 for dinner only (no intimacy). It may not be an extraordinarily large amount, but apparently it’s not a bad figure for many women. There’s no time limit, we can simply enjoy the meal, and so far, I haven’t been turned down. For someone like me—extremely wealthy, with around ¥500 million or more in financial assets excluding real estate, yet stingy—this is the fine line that lets me maintain my emotional balance. If I were asked for more, I’d be in a real bind. Everyone has their own dating style, but I don’t think being stingy is a good idea. That doesn’t mean you have to meet every demand your partner makes; rather, the lesson I’ve learned over these eight years is that you shouldn’t cheap out on yourself. The first thing that caught my attention in your question was the mention of business hotels. I’m well aware that hotel prices have gone up considerably these days, but try upgrading the hotel level once, just on faith. I suspect you’ll see more smiles from the women than the extra cost would suggest. And if those smiles increase, I have a feeling whether it’s “to be before or to be after” won’t matter anymore.

For Type C or D, it’s dinner first, then a love hotel on the first meeting. For Type B, I negotiate from the second meeting onward, and we go to the love hotel first, followed by dinner. I only go to expensive hotels once the arrangement has been going on for a while.

There are women with all kinds of preferences, so I think it’s best to accommodate them. With one of my monthly arrangements on Fuu, the woman is in her early 20s, and we meet directly at a room. She prefers to keep things as short as possible. Normally, I’d call it off, but she has an almost K-pop-idol-like face and figure, and she’s already lost weight with Mounjaro. She’s very tight down there and is almost completely passive, but she gets really wet, and it feels so good for me that I keep seeing her again, lol. Another woman in her mid-20s wants to go out for proper meals, visit hot springs, and travel. When Fuu wants to drink, he can’t stay hard, so we have an adult relationship in the room first, and then she’ll happily join him for a serious drinking session. Another woman in her mid-20s is fine either way and always goes along with Fuu. She’s incredibly sweet, has a great personality, and our adult relationship is amazing. She’s very devoted and a truly important woman to me. A woman in her mid-30s can only meet during the daytime on weekdays—only when she can leave her child with someone. So, it really varies depending on the person. I think meeting them on their terms is the key to making things last and having good sex. The rooms are love hotels. I don’t like dirty ones, though, so I choose clean, spacious love hotels. Communicate with the women, check what they want carefully, and respond accordingly. That’s what I recommend. Ah, I have too many monthly arrangements now, and putting my schedule together is becoming a real challenge. It’s a happy problem, though—even a former monthly partner who had stopped responding has come back after a long time. Still, I’m only going to be able to have this much fun while I’m young, so I’m going to enjoy it as long as I can! lol

In my case, adult dates are just that, and dinner dates are dinner only before we part ways. I’ve almost never gone from dinner to an adult relationship (intimate). It’s a waste of time for both of us. There’s a thing in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) where “setting clear boundaries actually makes you closer.” With my current monthly arrangements, none of the women have ever made things awkward just because we part ways after intimacy. Getting paid for an hour and a half or two hours of intimacy sounds pretty great, doesn’t it? Spending four hours total including dinner is tough. It’s unfair to the women, and I’d rather be working too. There was one woman I tried to meet again after about a year and a half. When I asked, “Can you come to a hotel?” she blocked me, lol. Apparently, though, there are very rarely women who get upset if you don’t include a meal beforehand. m(__)m The hotel is usually decided during the first date, so if you’re on a budget, do everything you can to make the first intimate date at a love hotel. Maybe use a regular city hotel only for special occasions.

It really depends on the girl, doesn’t it? Some prioritize their allowance and time, and don’t care whether they eat at all—even grabbing something from a convenience store is fine. Some want to enjoy a meal and drinks, then go to a hotel if the mood takes them there. Others want to spend the evening drinking at several places, and only go to a hotel if things naturally head in that direction. I think it’s more interesting—and more important—to pick up on what each person places the most weight on. I don’t think it’s simply a matter of whether or not they want to go to a hotel. I get the impression that girls whose LINE names are their full or real names are more often the latter type, while those using symbols or a single English letter tend to be the former.