With Type B1, is there a rule that you have to agree to an adult relationship by a certain number of meetings?

There are no hard-and-fast rules. In my case, I make it clear from the start that I’ll only meet for dinner up to the second time. (Of course, there’s no actual rule like that.) Personally, I recommend it because it doesn’t waste your time. If you’re saying things that could give him the wrong idea, just assume that an older guy who misunderstands may get angry—that’s pretty much the standard reaction—so it probably won’t come as much of a surprise.

Hello. In my view, unless it’s a D-class arrangement, whether things progress to an adult relationship should generally be led by the woman. If it’s a B-class arrangement, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dinner only, but ideally, after the second or third meeting, you should gauge the man’s attitude. If he seems to want to move toward an adult relationship, it would help to ask before meeting, “Would dinner only be okay?” You still seem young—probably in your twenties—so I understand, but I think you’ll avoid being subjected to sarcastic remarks or having an unpleasant experience yourself if you don’t immediately assume that the other person is entirely at fault.

Let me explain why I don’t mind having an adult relationship, even on the first meeting, in a B1-type arrangement. Even in ordinary relationships, people often start liking each other or become a couple only after meeting several times. What I mean is this: I previously wrote that, with cabaret clubs, lounges, men’s esthetic salons, adult entertainment venues, and even flight attendants, I could quickly become a romantic partner without repeatedly going as a regular or generous (well-paying) customer. However, I need to correct that because there was an inaccuracy. It wasn’t simply that I seemed serious, or that they didn’t find me physically off-putting or impossible to like. There was also a sense of security because I wasn’t seen as a potential romantic partner in that way. That made it easy for them to take an interest in me without me having to keep going back, and we would soon start meeting—sometimes as early as that same day—as someone they could talk to, vent to, or rely on for comfort. As we continued meeting, some people developed a relationship where they felt comfortable with me and gradually built enough trust for me to become a life partner, eventually becoming a couple. Others did not. In either case, it seems we became valuable, irreplaceable presences in each other’s lives, so the relationship didn’t simply end. Some even became engaged or married. In some cases, they realized they couldn’t continue as a married couple, but had no problem being lovers, so even after breaking up, they continued as life partners—people they could talk to about anything. Because the relationship was deeper than that of ordinary lovers, it continued afterward as well. What I’m trying to say is that I’m not handsome, so they could never realistically fall for me at first. That’s why the relationship begins from a place where they feel even more comfortable meeting me. In other words, the woman’s feelings start at zero—or even in the negative if she finds me physically off-putting. From there, if we become trusted partners who feel they couldn’t live without each other, an enduring relationship continues, whether we become lovers or not. Because their interest isn’t based on my appearance, there’s no misunderstanding of that kind. I believe the trust is built through who I am on the inside. If, over time and through repeated meetings, that trust grows to the point where they don’t want to lose me, then I doubt the woman would leave. Thinking about it that way, even with a club or papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it’s not simply that the allowance is acceptable. Rather, people may want to get to know each other, understand each other, deepen the connection, and build a relationship based on comfort and trust before moving forward. I don’t know whether a relationship in papa-katsu can ever completely turn around the way an ordinary relationship can, but building trust is still a human relationship, so I believe it’s possible. Even feeling physically off-put by someone can change if it’s only about seeing them as a potential partner. Of course, if meeting them at all feels impossible on a human level, that’s different.

If you have exceptional looks and the conversational skills to keep a papa from getting bored, I’m perfectly happy to go along with you keeping him on dinner-only dates five, ten, or even a hundred times. But I’ve only ever met one woman like that. There are women with outstanding looks who are fun to talk to and enjoyable to be intimate with, yet choose B2 or C-type arrangements. The papa-katsu world isn’t generous enough for someone with merely average looks and ordinary conversational skills to make money through dinner-only dates. My main territory is B1 and A, and my current A-type monthly partner is actually fast asleep right now. We’ve been seeing each other for over three years and haven’t even held hands, but she has enormous value, so the relationship continues. My ace is what would now be called B1. It took more than two months before we became intimate. During that time, we went on more than ten dinner-only dates, and I gave her around ¥2 million in total. It was a substantial allowance, but the relationship continued for five years, and she remains my ace to this day.

There’s no issue with it as far as the rules are concerned. That said, as others have mentioned, if either the man or the woman feels it isn’t a good fit, I think it’s best to part ways. Your previous answer says you met five times, but even with a B1 arrangement, I would decide it wasn’t going to work and walk away without meeting five times.

The explanation of B1 on the men’s member page says: “If you go on several dates and your feelings are compatible, the relationship may develop further.” Looking up “several times,” it means “two or more times.” Since “a few times” generally means around three times, I feel the nuance is probably four or more times. However, considering that B2 is defined as making a decision by the second date, B1 seems to imply making that decision after three or more dates. Technically, “or more” could mean any number of times. But from a man’s perspective, if the meals continue indefinitely, it would essentially be the same as Type A. So I think it’s better to think of it as roughly three to five dates in practice. > Is there a rule saying by which date you have to move on to an adult relationship (intimate)? There’s no such rule. After all, you only enter an adult relationship when you feel that this is someone you’d like to be with. If you decide that someone isn’t right for you, there’s no need to enter one. However, if you still try to selfishly maintain a dinner-only relationship, it becomes the same as Type A—wanting dinner only (no intimacy)—and you may be accused of misrepresenting your dating type. > In the question below, there seems to be an older man angry at B2, but in my case I’m B1. That question says, “We’ve been having dinner only for five dates now.” It may not be an official rule, but even with B1, I do feel that, emotionally speaking, you should make your decision by around the fifth date—either end things or move on to an adult relationship by the sixth date.

Of course, there’s no rule saying you have to have an adult relationship (intimate). I think both parties are at fault when a couple has a lovers’ quarrel.

Neither side is necessarily in the wrong, but with the men, I clearly think they’re going about it completely wrong. And with the women, I’m just left thinking, “Do you really want to earn a little dinner money badly enough to put up with that kind of snide remark?” I do make offers to B1s occasionally, though not very often. All of them have been virgins in their twenties, though. On the first date, I ask how many dates they think it might take before they can decide how they feel. If they don’t give me a definite answer but seem like they’re genuinely considering it, I might take that as a sign they’re interested. I don’t rely on it, though. If they just seem to be dodging the question, I think, “This is no good—I’ve been had,” and withdraw right away. Cut my losses. That said, I’ve never met someone twice without having an adult relationship. Even with a B1, the girls who are going to do it usually do so on the second date. Even if we initially agree to “tea or dinner for the first three dates,” they don’t mind me closing the distance on the second date, and things naturally develop in that direction. I suppose they choose B1 because they’re anxious, and once that anxiety goes away, they’re fine with it. If a non-virgin B1 hesitates to have an adult relationship on the second date, I think she deliberately doesn’t want to do it with that particular man. That reminds me: this was a long time ago, before there was really any distinction between B1 and B2, so she was simply classified as B. When we met, she told me, “I’m honestly not ready for an adult relationship right now.” I thought, “I’ve been had,” and said goodbye with, “Contact me if you ever change your mind.” Then, two years later, she contacted me saying, “I wonder if you remember me. I’ve finally made up my mind.” She was a virgin too. After that, we met three or four times a month for about two years. Assuming she was telling the truth, I’m still the only man she’s been with. There was also another virgin I met through an app who contacted me six months later. So, as a strategy for dealing with B1s, maybe it’s enough to have the first meeting, explain your terms for an adult relationship, exchange LINE contacts, and say, “I liked you when we met, but I’m ultimately looking for a relationship that includes an adult relationship, so contact me if you change your mind.” A seed-planting approach, so to speak. That said, maybe I’m simply getting older, but lately I haven’t been able to make things work when dating B1s. I’ve had some good experiences in the past, so I can’t complain, but once you’ve had that kind of success, it’s hard to stop chasing that feeling and wanting to experience it again.