There isn’t one definitive right answer—it really depends on what you want to prioritize.
This is just my personal perspective, but I’ve never been in the habit of wearing rings, so I’ve always gone without one in my relationships as well. There was no particular reason; it simply felt more natural not to wear one.
The only exception was once, when a papa (a male supporter) gave me a ring and asked me to wear it. After we parted ways, though, that ring turned into Yukichi. I was very grateful, but considering how gold prices are now, I sometimes wish I’d waited until it became Eiichi… Completely beside the point, of course.
Getting back to the main topic: if you already know that your partner is married, I don’t think you necessarily have to take the ring off. That said, a ring is something that strongly conveys “reality,” both visually and symbolically. So if you want to preserve the nature and atmosphere of the relationship, there are times when it may be safer to remove it.
On the other hand, if your papa (a male supporter) is comfortable with you wearing a ring and is seeing you on that basis, there’s no need to force yourself to take it off. In that case, I think what matters more than whether you hide it is the kind of distance you maintain in the relationship.
In short, it’s less about the ring itself and more about how the two of you view the relationship.
I feel that choosing whatever allows you to be most comfortable and natural is ultimately what will help things continue in the best way.
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I meet them while still wearing my ring. I only take it off when doing sports, since it could come off and get lost.
None of my partners has ever asked me to remove it or said anything about the ring. I just assume they don’t really mind.
I’ve never been involved with a married partner, but I feel like I’d be fine either way.
Hope this helps.
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There was one time when I had my unmarried monthly partner move her ring to her left ring finger before we had sex.
For someone like me, who gets turned on by the sense of doing something wrong, I’d want her to keep the ring on. But if she’s the type to have unusually strong ethics despite doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I think it’d be better for her to take it off.
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I don’t do it myself either, so either is fine with me. I do like other people’s partners, but rings don’t really excite me (probably). Still, I’d be thrilled if she showed up at the meeting place with her husband. You might think, “That’s absurd,” but the husband gets incredibly excited too, so it can be quite fun. I’m serious!
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I’m married too, but I haven’t worn a wedding ring since we got married.
I didn’t like how bulky it felt around my finger, and my wife doesn’t wear hers because of her job.
In the end, you should do whatever feels right for you. Since you’re both married, I think the important thing is simply to make good use of the dating club framework and be careful not to cause problems for each other.
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Since he’s a papa who knowingly dates married women, I don’t think it really matters either way.
Apparently, in the world of married-woman escort services and sex work, men wearing wedding rings can make things more exciting, so maybe you should always wear one? I’ve also seen posts online about unmarried men putting a ring on their left ring finger before going to work, to create the impression that they’re married.
If your papa likes the thrill of forbidden relationships, I think you should wear one. Why not ask him which he prefers?
As for what got me started with a dating club, as I mentioned in my answer to Mac-san, it was my wife cheating on me. But Fuu doesn’t react to wedding rings at all. I do have a monthly partner who’s married, but I don’t think he wears a ring…
If anything, I’m more of a pervert who gets turned on by hearing about an unmarried monthly partner’s papa, boyfriend, or casual partner before becoming intimate with her, rather than by married women. Hearing about what kind of adult relationship they have or what she liked about it.
As I wrote in a column before, one time while I was being intimate with a woman, her boyfriend kept bombarding her with messages. I told her, “I’ll message him so it won’t become a hassle later,” and then messaged him while she was moaning and we were in the middle of it. The situation was incredibly exciting, lol. I was behind her while she was moaning and messaging her boyfriend—what a pervert.
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If the man you’re currently seeing already knows, then it doesn’t really matter at this point. But generally speaking, I don’t think there’s any need to go out of your way to advertise that you’re having an affair.
Well, if you’re looking for someone with that particular preference, then feel free to leave it as is.
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Since they only care about the face and the sexy parts, I feel like either one would be fine.
P.S.
FUU, yours sounds like something out of an erotic manga—in a good way. You know, the kind where they accidentally let out a voice and try to play it off.
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I’m seeing several married men.
I was at a hotel with one of them until just now, and I can’t even remember whether he was wearing his ring or not… Before getting into bed, I’m focused on chatting and mainly looking at his face. Once we’re in bed, it’s dim, and after I take off my glasses, there’s no way I’d notice a ring anyway lol.
So honestly, do whatever you prefer.
For what it’s worth, I always take my ring off before going on a date. It’s just a small gesture of consideration for my partner. Don’t you see it that way too?
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> By the way, the papas know that I’m married.
So how have you been handling things up until now? You must have already been dating your papas in one of those two ways, so what does it mean to ask which option is better now?
Did one of them say something when you tried to continue as usual? Or did you suddenly become anxious even though no one said anything? If it’s the latter, something must have triggered those feelings.
What was that trigger?
Which option is better depends on the person. If none of them has said anything so far, it seems like you’re fine continuing as you have been.
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That part is kind of nuanced. Maybe men with a cuckold fetish actually want the woman to keep her wedding ring on. Who knows, though.
I’ve heard of men who get most excited by going into the marital bedroom while the husband is away and looking at framed photos of the couple together. Sometimes you hear about the husband suddenly coming home and things turning into a total disaster, but I suspect either the man has that particular fetish or the woman enjoys the thrill of doing something forbidden.
I don’t have a cuckold fetish myself, but if I did, I think I’d want her to keep the ring on and finish aimed right at it. I actually enjoy thinking up and coming up with little details for scenarios like that.
Fuu, you mentioned before that your wife’s infidelity was what led you to join a dating club, right? Do you ever date married women? If she’s wearing her wedding ring, how does that make you feel? Does it bother you, make you feel like you’re getting a little revenge, or do you not feel anything in particular? If you ever feel like sharing, I’d find it really interesting to hear about m(_ _)m
Changing the subject, one reason some married women start papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is that they discover their husband is cheating, but they can’t divorce because of the children and other considerations, so they decide to sleep with another man themselves to regain some emotional balance. Apparently, there are even women whose husbands have had a child with another woman, and who then want to have a child with another man themselves—basically, “Give me your seed.”
In situations like that, what do they do about the wedding ring? Do they take it off, or leave it on? Well, I guess either is fine.
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