I recently joined a dating club for the first time and met a man.
After dinner, we went somewhere else for drinks, and he gave me ¥40,000.
Is that more than the going rate?
Would it be better to see the same man again rather than accept offers from new men?
If we were to have an adult relationship (intimate), how much would the allowance usually be?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Universe female member
As far as I know, a papa (a male supporter) who offers a generous (well-paying) allowance for dinner doesn’t necessarily offer even more for an adult relationship (intimate). He may simply be satisfied with that arrangement and not necessarily be looking for anything intimate.
Be careful, because if you bring up an adult relationship (intimate) yourself, he may cut things off instead.
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That’s great.
For someone in her 30s, getting that allowance without an adult relationship is pretty good. Take good care of that papa (a male supporter).
It’s hard for Fuu, who’s looking for an adult relationship, to imagine that.
If you look it up on search sites, you’ll find the general going rates, so try that if you want to know.
As the other respondents said, you might want to try accepting offers from other people too. I think the allowances offered can vary quite a bit.
You should decide on your own minimum terms—for example, that you won’t accept anything below a certain amount, or that this is the amount you’d require for an adult relationship.
Be careful, because the terms you initially agree to tend to become the default.
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Hostess bars and adult entertainment have set price lists, so there’s a going rate. But in dating arrangements, it’s not just about the allowance—for example, someone may receive no allowance but have all their living expenses covered, or receive a high allowance but be intensely controlling.
Even so, if you only want a rough idea of the amounts, look into how much you can earn in adult entertainment. There can be several times’ difference between a mainstream venue and a high-end one, and dating arrangements are the same. Earning 10,000 yen an hour at a hostess bar would probably put you in the high-end category.
I think you’re supposed to receive several offers and judge them overall, including how controlling the person is and how easy it is to arrange meetings. But if money is your only criterion, I think that’s perfectly fine too.
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I think an allowance of ¥40,000 just for drinks is quite generous.
Perhaps, knowing it was your first date, he made a generous offer because he wanted to continue seeing you.
Or, as Paper Airplane mentioned, maybe he offered more because of his age.
It’s also possible that he has always had his own established style.
You seem to have only recently joined. Why not keep this man as an option while accepting other offers and comparing each man’s allowance style?
As you meet various people, you’ll gradually learn how much distance feels comfortable, how at ease you feel with them, and what kind of allowance works for you.
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For dinner and drinks only, I’d say that’s on the high side.
That said, if you’re open to an ongoing relationship that may eventually include an adult relationship (intimate), I personally offer the same allowance, so I’ll leave it up to you to decide.
Also, if you want to get a sense of the going rate and keep some options open, I think it would be worth accepting a few more offers.
However, in every sense, you’ll receive the most support by continuing with a steady relationship.
I wouldn’t recommend casually trying out one person after another. It’s better to focus on one or two arrangements（笑）
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If you’re concerned about the going rate, I think you should consider accepting a new offer. That said, you could also choose based on compatibility rather than the market rate.
As an allowance, I don’t think it’s bad.
If you’re talking about the first meeting being dinner only, I’d say it’s neither particularly high nor low—pretty average. The average is around 1–5 (for some people, 1–40), so this is slightly above the middle. If the man is older, then considering the average for dinner only to be around 4–5, it would be about average.
For men who value simply spending time together, the allowance doesn’t necessarily increase that much just because it becomes an adult relationship (intimate).
If he places more importance on an adult relationship (intimate), he’ll probably make the difference from dinner only much larger.
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4 for two appointments totaling four hours? That’s quite generous for a dinner allowance.
I used to add 100,000 yen to the dinner allowance—so if dinner was 40,000 yen, it would be 140,000 yen for an adult relationship (intimate).
Looking back, though, I feel like that was a pretty clumsy way of doing things. papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is built on top of all kinds of mistakes.
I currently support several women whose pay-per-meeting allowance exceeds 200,000 yen, but I’m essentially taking responsibility for their lives, so in a way, my style is similar to Seattle’s.
By taking on responsibility for a woman’s life, I get a sense of ecstasy from feeling, “I’m actually helping.” So in the end, I wonder if the ones truly benefiting are Seattle and me.
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It’s more than the going rate.
When it’s an adult relationship, I’d say pay-per-meeting starts at around ¥30,000, with ¥50,000 being the median and top-tier arrangements around ¥200,000. That excludes Makeotoko-san’s “super PJ,” which is in a league of its own.
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