I think most men would be fine with it as long as you let them know that you’re feeling unwell that day.
It might be easier to focus on dinner only if you tell him upfront.
Just because his dating type is C doesn’t mean things have to develop into a relationship, so if you don’t click after dinner, you can simply turn him down.
I assume this is about arrangements through Universe, specifically the type of date they call a “dinner gathering.”
Usually it’s two men and two women, though 3:3 may also be possible. The number of men and women has to be equal, and generally each man chooses the woman he’s interested in, so it becomes a group with multiple women chosen by the men. (The women aren’t told this.)
So, as the questioner says, the men are probably expecting something.
(The first meal may be 2:2, but after that it often turns into individual dates.)
However, the club is a meal-arrangement company that complies with the law, so its policy is that women cannot tell the men when they’re on their period. Personally, I don’t think telling someone you’re menstruating would automatically make it prostitution—it’s a meal arrangement, after all—but because there is a possibility it could be interpreted that way, they take the position that it cannot be disclosed.
So, what can you do?
You could tell the staff something like:
“My period is quite difficult, so I can still go out for the meal, but I may have trouble maintaining a cheerful attitude that day. Could you check with the man about that? I’d like to meet him with a smile for our first date.”
Then the staff will ask the man in an awkward way:
“We’ve received a message from the woman saying she may not be feeling well that day. Would you still be comfortable going ahead with the date?”
If the man is experienced, he’ll realize, “Oh, she must be on her period,” and may say something like, “In that case, should we reschedule?” or, “I’m fine with just having dinner, so that day is okay. She said she can still eat, right?”
But if he doesn’t pick up on it, he might respond:
“She may not be feeling well? If that means she doesn’t want to go on the date, then let’s cancel. There’s no point going out with someone who isn’t enthusiastic.”
So it can be a difficult judgment call.
You could either take the risk and have the staff convey it indirectly, or protect yourself by saying on the day:
“I told the staff in advance, but they said they weren’t allowed to tell the man. Here’s the LINE message as proof.”
Ideally, the rules would change so that women were allowed to mention their periods. But given that, if the authorities ever wanted to make an example of someone, they’d probably target the biggest organization, the company has ended up adopting internal rules that stay as far on the safe, legally compliant side as possible.
P.S.
> Isn’t this just a leftover rule imposed by that female executive whose name I’ve forgotten?
Actually, the rule was originally decided after consulting the company’s legal adviser at the time. The lawyer apparently said that telling men about a woman’s period could potentially be considered prostitution, so it would be better not to do it.
From a lawyer’s perspective, I suppose it makes sense to avoid anything legally gray so it doesn’t become a liability. So I can understand why that was the answer they gave.
That way, no one can later say, “I was arrested even though you told me it was okay.”
> Why not propose internally that it’s about time they lifted the rule?
It’s not exactly about lifting the rule, but a few months ago I did propose having a study session or training led by a lawyer on how prostitution is interpreted—what points mattered in past cases and how those cases were judged.
But nothing is moving forward. It’s a terrible company.
When the president decides, “This is what we’re going to do,” decisions are made quickly, since the responsibility doesn’t fall on middle management. But anything else takes longer to decide than it would at a publicly traded company. It feels like the company has turned into a typical bureaucratic organization.
