I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
○Could you give me some specific wording for turning someone down in a cute way?
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“I’m a slow-paced person, so…”
This is the best option.
You can go on two or three dates while seeing whether she really is slow-paced and likes to take things at her own pace.
If the man decides that she’s secretly looking for an adult relationship, he’ll stop asking her out.
Hopefully, things will develop into a relationship before then.
○Could you give me some wording for turning down a kiss or a second round?
○“Let’s go to a hot spring or take a trip next time.”
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“We’ve only just started seeing each other, so let’s not rush things and take it slowly…”
○A roundabout but cute way to say, “I want financial support.”
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“I have a goal I’m working toward, so I’d really appreciate your support.”
Most men should understand the gist from wording like this.
The most important thing is whether you’re approaching the man openly and sincerely.
I don’t think many people will say something outrageous to someone who approaches them sincerely.
If someone does say something unreasonable, I think it’s fair to assume, “I just got unlucky and ran into a person to avoid!”
Maezawa here as well.
> When I turn them down, the men clearly become annoyed, and I often don’t even receive transportation money.
You are guaranteed to receive the ¥5,000–¥10,000 transportation allowance set by the club for the first meeting. If you tell the man that you should be receiving it but he still doesn’t pay, contact the club immediately.
The man is violating the rules, so after hearing the circumstances, the club will pay you directly.
> Could you give me some specific wording for turning them down in a cute way?
Since you’re registered as Relationship Type B, does that mean you decline an adult relationship on the first date but would be open to it on the second?
If so, simply telling him that directly should allow you to schedule the next date before parting ways.
However, if you don’t want an adult relationship on either the first or second date, then you have selected the wrong relationship type. You would need to change it to Type A, otherwise it will cause problems for both the man and the club.
> Regardless of their age, all the men have bad breath, and I feel like throwing up every time. Even when I show that I don’t like it, they lick all over me, and because I hate that, I haven’t met anyone a second time.
If you’ve already had an adult relationship once, you may actually be closer to Relationship Type C. But you shouldn’t force yourself. Keeping up an arrangement that makes you uncomfortable will only make you miserable.
If you still want to somehow continue for the sake of your goal, the men may not be thrilled, but when you’re invited, you could add the following to your terms:
- Have him brush his teeth as soon as you enter the room.
- Have him buy something like mouthwash at a convenience store on the way and use that as well.
Then, only proceed to an adult relationship with men who agree to those terms. I think that would be a good approach.
> Since they get annoyed when I turn them down, could you give me some cute wording to use?
“I’d like to wait until we’ve been seeing each other a little longer before going on trips or to hot springs together.”
That should work, but he may say after about a month, “We’ve been seeing each other long enough now,” so you could add:
“It would be difficult for me to go on a trip or to a hot spring unless we’ve been seeing each other for at least a year.”
However, if you say that, you’ll need to be prepared to actually go to a hot spring with him after a year.
> Could you give me some indirect but cute wording to say that I do want money?
I’m not sure what you mean by a personal relationship, but perhaps you mean that you want him to date only you.
If the condition is that you won’t see any other men, you could say:
“It would be difficult unless you’re able to offer a substantial amount.”
If you’re currently receiving invitations from 20 men, for example, you would need to receive 20 times the usual amount from one man to narrow it down to just him.
Of course, the man might then accuse you of being money-minded. So another option would be to have him name an amount first, and say:
“That might be difficult for me unless it’s an amount I’m comfortable with.”
I think that approach could work.
