Tips
Jun 20, 2019 16:37
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I was told to leave four hours open, and was also told by email that it would be two hours for dinner and two hours for an adult relationship (intimate).
I only do dinner on the first date, but I’ve previously spent three and a half hours with someone for just transportation expenses, and even though I got home late, I wasn’t given anything extra for a taxi.
I wish men would show that kind of consideration as well.
It made it seem as though they wanted to spend a long time together for 10,000 yen.
For dinner only, I’d like them to explain that it will be about two hours.
3 answers
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa here as well.
> I’d like them to explain that dinner-only dates last around two hours.
We generally explain it as two hours + two hours, so I think the men understand that as well. That said, the fact that this opinion has come up makes me wonder whether some staff may be telling women only that it lasts four hours.
Still, from the man’s perspective, he may think, “Since we’re having such a nice dinner tonight, it should be okay if we go over two hours.” Or perhaps they were simply enjoying each other’s company so much that they lost track of time.
For that reason, I’d also like the women to bring it up by saying something like, “I hate to leave, but I should probably head home soon. Please ask me out again.”
Men, for their part, should also check with the woman around the two-hour mark to make sure she’s okay with the time, since some women may actually be feeling uncomfortable. If asking would ruin the mood, then I think they should simply end the date around the two-hour mark.
Regarding taxi fare, we explain that if they stay together until after the woman’s last train, the man should pay for a taxi separately. “Last train” doesn’t mean the last train on the Yamanote Line—it means the last train that will get that particular woman home. If he doesn’t check with her, he may assume she can still get home until midnight, even though some women’s last train is at 11 p.m.
Women who take a bus to their nearest station may have an even earlier last bus.
We once received a report about a man who refused to let a woman leave, saying, “There’s no way the last bus is that early.” But unlike trains, buses often stop running considerably earlier.
When a woman says that a certain time is her limit, we ask the man either to let her leave at that time or to pay for her taxi.
It’s not a matter of, “It’s only a request, so I don’t really have to follow it, right?”
If a man can’t follow our requests, then naturally we’ll know what kind of person he is going forward, and we may decline his future offers. I imagine wording to that effect will be added when offers are made.
Also, if a date runs past the woman’s last train and she doesn’t receive taxi fare, please give the club feedback.
Unless we explain the taxi-fare policy to that man again, other women may end up in the same unfortunate situation.
The ¥5,000–¥10,000 payment is technically described as transportation expenses, but in reality it’s a thank-you for spending time having dinner together. There is no understanding that taxi fare is included in that amount.
Of course, if the man says that because no one explained it clearly, the ¥10,000 he gave consisted of ¥5,000 as a thank-you and ¥5,000 for the taxi, then technically he would have acted according to the club’s instructions. Still, if he only says that afterward, I’d find him a bit questionable.
Other
I’m Saito, a column writer♪
I agree with Date Yume.
To put it simply, the answer may be:
“That’s just how it is. You might even be getting a relatively good deal.”
Rather than saying, “They wouldn’t do ○○ for me,” I think it’s also important to clearly communicate what you want.
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m the male member, だて◎ゆめ.
“I was told to set aside four hours: two hours for the meal and two hours for free love.”
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Regarding this way of thinking, if you view it as enjoying free love while having the meal, then even if the time at the dinner table ended up being three and a half hours, the total time would still be within four hours. So I feel it should be fine as long as both parties are comfortable with it.
If you want to wrap up the meal after just two hours, I suppose you could simply say beforehand, “I’d like to keep dinner to around two hours…”
As for transportation expenses, the amount was ¥5,000–¥10,000, so I felt the terms regarding transportation were fairly good.
As for being considerate about the taxi fare, that’s a difficult point. Since I had already prepared the maximum transportation allowance, she may have assumed that it included the taxi fare.
This case was slightly different, but I’ve also had a woman say, “Public transportation will stop running if it gets too late. Could you increase the amount to cover a taxi?”
She was very cute and exactly my type, so I immediately replied, “Sure, sure!” (笑)