Nice to meet you.

Unless they’re especially fond of someone, people in dating clubs generally don’t need to limit themselves to just one partner. Men in particular can make as many offers as they like. Also, in terms of spreading out the risk—since breakups can happen suddenly—I think, as in the questioner’s case, most people date multiple partners and see each one once or twice a month. 1. Become the exclusive partner of a man who dates multiple women—be liked enough that he cuts ties with the others 2. Receive an offer from a man who originally wanted to date only one person, and win him over 3. Receive an offer from a heavy-user man who dates multiple women but meets each one every week All of these seem difficult, but in the end, doesn’t it start with getting lots of offers?

From what I’ve heard from women, men who meet once a month seem to be fairly common. Personally, I have women I see every week or twice a week, as well as partners I see once a month or every other month. Sometimes I let the women decide when they’re available and then set the date accordingly, so I tend to see women more often when they keep in regular contact. On the other hand, with women who rarely message me, it may end up being every other month.

At this frequency, who usually initiates—are you being invited, or are you the one doing the inviting? If you’re meeting once a week or more, I think the woman needs to take the initiative too. For two people who value their relationship, it’s natural to see each other at least once a week. Physical compatibility is a factor, of course, but men usually make an offer because they already like the woman quite a bit. So it’s also important for the woman to invite him and show interest, rather than making the relationship one-sided. Since there’s an allowance involved, if he likes her even somewhat as part of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it’s natural for her to contact him as well. It’s also perfectly natural to see each other frequently without the man always being the one to initiate. Update: Thinking back, with the women I’ve continued seeing for years, we met three or four days in a row, or five or six times, within the first week. I think that means we were compatible enough that seeing each other every day didn’t feel exhausting. We spent that much time together without even discussing the allowance. Once you build that kind of relationship, I think it can continue for a long time. For both men and women, it’s probably better to see someone who is a great or at least good match than to meet lots of different people. So if you click with someone, I think it’s a good idea to act quickly and let them know when you’re available.

I’d assumed that meeting once a week, with the occasional break, was pretty standard. If it’s only once every month or two, maybe it’s rare to find someone who can keep things going long term. Don’t you forget what you talked about on your last date? Well, maybe that actually keeps things feeling fresh and helps it last longer. Why not look for someone in their 40s or 50s who has both the money and the desire to see you? You could also emphasize in your profile that your ideal frequency is once a week. If you’re simply being fit into a rotation with several other people, that may be why things turn out that way. Either way, you won’t get a hit or a home run unless you step up to the plate. No action, no results. Maybe try finding ways to attract more offers.