He suggested that we spend the night together.

If you want to keep things going, don’t say it too directly. Find some excuse to turn down invitations to his vacation home or overnight stays. Saying things like “I love you” in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) can feel heavy and a bit much. Good luck standing your ground.

If you like him and want to keep seeing him, you should think about a plan to win him away. If he’s sending you a decent allowance, there must be some reason for it, so the question is how far you can draw him in, make him serious about you, and secure the top spot in his life. Ah, the games people play in love♪ If you don’t like him that much and only want dinner, it takes some skill. After all, that’s probably not the relationship he’s looking for. For just one time, you could make up an excuse like being busy with work or having a critically ill parent, but he may invite you again later. I’ve even met women who used longer-term excuses, like saying they’d been diagnosed with fibroids and their doctor told them not to be intimate for six months. But from the man’s perspective, you can’t help wondering whether it’s true—and if that’s the premise, you start thinking you might as well look for someone else. In the end, this is a world where you get paid for being intimate, so I think it’s better to let go of unrealistic fantasies and think practically about what you’re going to do. Taro