The first person to offer me an arrangement turned down an adult relationship (intimate).
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We talked at a café for about an hour, and I thought the conversation went perfectly fine. But he just apologized, gave me transportation money, and we went our separate ways.
I’m shocked because up until now, the men have always been the ones to ask for an adult relationship.
What are some reasons a man might turn down an adult relationship himself?
I’d just retaken my photos and haven’t changed in appearance, so I don’t think it was because of how I look.
Perhaps the man felt that your requested allowance didn’t match something about you—your looks, cleanliness, personality, or otherwise.
He may have thought, “If I’m going to pay the same amount, I’ll ask another woman instead.”
Alternatively, he may have had a set limit for how much allowance he was willing to pay, and your request didn’t fit within it.
Since this was your first offer, it’s still hard to know the specific reason. If you’re turned down again for your next offer, though, there’s a good chance the issue may be on your end.
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In addition to the other respondents’ experiences, there have been times when I lost interest because my papa talked about another papa.
I felt like I wasn’t really needed, and there were even times when I turned down invitations because of it!
I do enjoy hearing about his boyfriend, though. Men really are complicated creatures, huh?♪
A famous quote from Full Frontal in *Mobile Suit Gundam UC*: “There’s no need to dwell on your mistakes. Simply acknowledge them and use them as fuel for what comes next. That is the privilege of being an adult.”
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There was one time when I met a woman the club recommended as five-star. She was like a papa-katsu robot, and I felt like I was watching a horror movie. She looked kind of like a homunculus from the manga, so I got scared and ended the meeting right away.
I told someone at the club, “She was really scary,” but they didn’t believe me.
Still, there’s no need to look into the causes of occasional losses involving such an unusual minority of men. It’s pointless.
Instead, analyze what led to your successes and use that going forward.
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In my case, the following are the situations that came to mind:
- They showed no interest in talking about hobbies or anything else, and only talked about money.
- They casually told obvious lies during the conversation.
- There was a discrepancy between their profile and reality (did they lie during the meeting?).
- Even from the conversation alone, they seemed overly experienced and gave off a professional vibe.
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Personally, I’ve never made my refusal particularly clear, but I often decide not to take things any further.
The reasons I can remember include:
- He had a gummy smile.
- He lacked class.
- Once we talked, I found him boring.
- He seemed unintelligent.
- He seemed to be under some kind of misunderstanding.
- I don’t know why, but I simply didn’t feel like taking things further.
If I feel that the person I’m currently seeing is clearly better, I don’t feel the need to add anyone else.
Edit after reading SE’s answer:
Come to think of it, there have also been times when the reason was that he was a liar.
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