How do you handle the allowance when going on a one-week overseas trip?
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I don’t have the courage to bring it up myself, but honestly, I’d like to receive an allowance for each day. I’ll be taking time off from work and other commitments to go, so I’ll be losing income.
I’m worried that, from the papa’s perspective, he might think that paying for the trip means I don’t need an allowance—or only give me the equivalent of one meeting.
But if I bring it up, I feel like the atmosphere will definitely become awkward and the trip might be called off altogether.
I do genuinely want to go on the trip myself, but I feel like a lot of men try to save on the allowance by making the travel and accommodation more luxurious.
I’m currently struggling financially and working both day and night jobs in addition to papa-katsu.
He invited me on this overseas trip after I told him that.
Should I just put up with not receiving an allowance, or bring it up even if it means risking the relationship?
What do you think I should do?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
The way she seems torn about it feels very human and kind of endearing.
A lot of women say traveling is impossible, so it’s cute that she does want to go abroad. But she also wants her allowance and doesn’t want things to get awkward.
Maybe ask her directly:
“How would the allowance work during the trip?”
“If I take time off work, I can’t make ends meet—I might even have my electricity and water cut off.”
Then, if she says she’d only want one day’s allowance because the trip itself costs money, you could decline by saying something unavoidable came up.
If you agree this time, it’ll become the default, and it’ll be harder on you later.
Even if it’s little by little, you need to build a relationship where you can express what you want. Otherwise, won’t you just end up feeling more and more worn out?
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Wouldn’t it be tough to spend a whole week with a papa (a male supporter) you feel that way about?
If we hadn’t discussed the allowance beforehand, I’d probably assume this was a one-time thing.
But I wouldn’t bring it up myself—I’d worry they’d think I was being too money-focused!
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In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I think men are often put off when you emphasize that you don’t have much money.
Especially if you’re in a relationship where you travel together, suggesting that you should be compensated for taking several days off work is about the worst approach you could take.
If you were in the other person’s position, how would you feel about that proposal?
If you’re short on money, I think it’s safer to turn down the trip and work your day or night job instead.
Personally, if I were going on a trip, I’d calculate the allowance based on my usual rate multiplied by the number of times we had an adult relationship (intimate) during the trip.
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If I were inviting her on an overseas trip, I’d think about whether she could afford to live comfortably during it and give her an appropriate amount of money.
Would traveling for a long time with someone so stingy—who can’t even think of that—really be fun?
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If I’m planning something different from our usual date, I let them know the amount in advance.
A date isn’t fun when both people are worrying about the money. If you’re struggling financially and really need the income, you could say something like:
“I’d really love to go on the trip, but if I take too much time off work, my income will drop and throw off my plans, so I might not be able to go.”
Then see how they respond.
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Like Paper Airplane, I think you simply shouldn’t date someone if that’s the kind of thing that bothers you.
I’ve also been invited on trips by several women, but whenever one of them invited me for the first time, she said either that she didn’t need an allowance or that one pay-per-meeting payment would be enough. No one has ever asked me to pay for each day.
So ever since, whenever I travel with a woman, I give her one pay-per-meeting allowance.
As for my answer, I think it would be best to skip the trip, since taking time off work would mean losing income.
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Honestly, if he’s the kind of person who worries about things like that, you’re better off ending things.
I think a trip should be something the woman actively wants to do and keeps suggesting. Once you’ve built that kind of trust, there shouldn’t be any need to discuss an allowance.
If the man is the one doing the inviting, she might end up pretending to sleep the whole time and just waiting for it to be over.
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