I recently met someone through an app, but I didn’t receive an allowance the second time.
The first time, he sent me the bullet train fare via PayPay in advance, and I asked about the allowance for the meal before meeting him. We hadn’t discussed the allowance for an adult relationship, but he gave it to me anyway.
This time, I contacted him saying, “I’m bored, so come hang out with me,” and we met. However, there was no allowance, and he went home.
When I contacted him afterward to ask about it, he replied:
“If money is involved,
it becomes a contract.
A contract is valid
for one time only.
A contract
must always
be made in advance.
You said you wanted to see me,
so I simply met you.
Did I do
anything wrong?
I have never
paid twice.
I don’t even know
what’s considered normal.”
Do you think he did nothing wrong?
Was I simply assuming that I would receive the same allowance again because I received it the first time?
These arrangements are complicated. It really makes me appreciate how good Universe Club is. I’m still a fan.
Anything that goes against public order and morals cannot be formally contracted in the first place.
These arrangements only work within a relationship of mutual trust.
Consider this a learning experience and use it to your advantage next time.
P.S. If you haven’t built up a relationship of trust yet, it’s safer to receive the allowance upfront.
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There’s a culture of identifying the causes of accidents and analyzing the reasons for failures so you can apply the lessons next time, right?
I think that’s necessary to some extent when running an organization at work.
However, analyzing incidents in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), which you do as an individual, is pointless. I don’t think there’s any value in analyzing the cause of a rare, one-off incident.
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As others have already said, whether you’re using Universe Club or an app, it’s probably best to confirm the allowance is paid upfront until you feel reasonably comfortable.
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There’s no point trying to have a reasonable discussion with someone like that.
They’re just interpreting everything in whatever way benefits them, so their logic completely falls apart.
It’s like signing up for Netflix, paying the subscription fee only for the first month, and then refusing to pay from the second month onward.
This is what happens when someone with no brains tries to imitate Hiroyuki.
You’re not at fault. If we had to limit even the wording of invitations just because people like this exist, it would take all the fun out of it.
Just write it off as collateral damage and keep doing your thing on Universe.
— It’s me
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He’s the only cheap one like that. If he wanted to see you a third time, you probably would have received the same allowance as before.
That said, you also share some of the blame for not getting paid upfront, so I’d say the fault lies on both sides.
Forget that jerk and look for someone else.
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