Does looking like I spend a lot on designer items, beauty treatments, and things like that make men less inclined to support me?
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I don’t think my profile photos are that different from how I look in person. I just had my hair curled and wore slightly heavier makeup for the photos.
At the first meeting, the man I met told me I looked different from what he had imagined.
I don’t think my photos are misleading, though.
One thing he said that stuck with me was that he repeatedly emphasized that he wants to support girls who are working toward their dreams—even if they aren’t making much money yet.
To be honest, I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) not so much to make ends meet, but because I want to enjoy a more luxurious lifestyle.
Should I dress in a way that makes me look poor, depending on the person I’m meeting? Since this was our first meeting, I had no idea what he was expecting.
I don’t think we were compatible to begin with, so I doubt things would have continued with him anyway, but I’m not sure.
The photos were taken recently, and my body shape hasn’t changed either.
I’d appreciate hearing your opinions. Thank you.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
As you suspected, it probably just means that you didn’t click.
As for your outfit, it sounds like you followed the club’s recommendations for the first meeting, so I don’t think there was any particular issue there.
I don’t judge whether I click with someone based on how they use their allowance. That said, gambling or spending it on hosts would give me a bad impression.
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Are you really planning to give that papa another chance after meeting him in person and hearing him say things you couldn’t make sense of? If not, don’t worry about it.
You’ll only end up exhausted if the allowance isn’t worth the effort of forcing yourself to wear clothes you don’t even want to wear or pretending you’re having some kind of problem. You’ll lose motivation and just stop making money.
I don’t think people usually give their real reason when turning someone down. If a papa asks you to come twice a week for expensive massage sessions, for example, and money isn’t your top priority, you might just casually say you’ve been busy lately—even if you’re not.
Maybe you simply weren’t his type, or maybe he’s short on money. Maybe he found someone he prefers for an adult relationship (intimate). Some people may prefer a refined, innocent-looking type, but that papa who turned you down doesn’t necessarily represent everyone with that preference. Different papas have different tastes.
Rather than looking back at the past, it would be more productive to focus on building relationships with other people.
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It’s simply a difference in values between you and the other person.
Since it’s impossible to please everyone, I think you should just continue as you are.
Still, “dressed like you’re poor” is quite a way to put it.
From the questioner’s perspective, perhaps any of the neat, modest outfits recommended by the club look poor…
Either way, it certainly sounds like the two of you were simply not on the same page.
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I don’t want to date women who seem overly focused on money.
Personally, I feel that women who can keep that desire well hidden and still date tend to be more popular.
It’s the same for men, I think—if “I want an adult relationship” or “I want sex” is written all over their face, women will be put off too, lol.
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I feel like facial features have quite a bit to do with it, too. Some papas prefer a more casual look with minimal makeup if you have striking features, and some don’t like curled hair.
If it were me, I’d go for a low-maintenance, girl-next-door look for the first meeting—but that may not be where your appeal lies. You could try changing your profile to appeal to papas who prefer a sexy, sultry, beautiful type. Or maybe you’d be better suited to working as a hostess at a cabaret club.
In any case, whether it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or looking for marriage, you’ll get better results by choosing and presenting yourself to people who value you more highly. Wishing you all the best.
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Rather than an opinion, I think the person asking is probably looking for confirmation, so here’s my answer.
If you genuinely want to support someone who’s working hard toward their dream but isn’t making much money, there’s no need to specifically look for them through a dating club.
Thinking, “If I can make someone like that my romantic partner, I’ll earn more gratitude and put them in my debt beyond the allowance, enjoy a steady sex life, and reduce the chances of being cut off,” is just a rotten, lust-driven motive.
In other words, the real issue is whether you’re willing to adapt to the other person while understanding that about yourself.
From here on, this is just my personal advice: if you’re struggling financially or absolutely need the money, then date them while pretending to be someone who fits their needs.
Otherwise, don’t force yourself—just go about it as the person you believe yourself to be.
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When asking for donations, it’s true that saying “for treatment of a serious illness” tends to attract more money than saying “for plastic surgery expenses.”
If making money is your top priority, try becoming an actress and playing the kind of woman men would want to give money to.
However, if your acting isn’t convincing, men will see through it—and it will only increase your own stress.
How about finding a balance between:
1. Perfecting your acting and fully becoming the role
2. Being yourself and finding a papa (a male supporter) who suits you (hopefully, you will)
Personally, all I want is to enjoy a fun date, so I don’t really care what the reason for the support is. But if someone constantly emphasizes how difficult their financial situation is, I can’t enjoy the date.
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