A question about sexuality in later life.

Question

A friend of mine worked as a nurse at a university hospital, including night shifts, but found it physically demanding, so she resigned and started working in April at a care facility—not a nursing home, but a place that people aged 65 and over can use from time to time to build strength and maintain their health. Apparently, the men who come there really dislike being called “elderly people” or “old men.” Many of the men who are divorced or widowed seem to want to fall in love one more time while they’re still alive. One of them asked my friend out, but she apparently managed to turn him down politely. It seems another man said he’d be satisfied simply having a meal, going to a hotel, taking a bath together, and sleeping beside each other while enjoying some physical affection. As society continues to age, I feel that as long as people can take responsibility for themselves and don’t cause trouble for their partner, falling in love—even at an advanced age—can help them stay youthful. Romance may also be good for extending healthy life expectancy and enjoying life, regardless of money or whether an adult relationship is involved, but… Do men—and women too—still have the desire to fall in love as they grow older? Papa-katsu men, after separating from their wives through divorce or bereavement, do you still want to fall in love in your late 60s or even after turning 70?

Answer 1

It’s probably the same. People in their teens or twenties may see someone in their thirties as an “older woman,” but you’re in your thirties too, and you don’t want to be called that, right? No one wants to be referred to that way. And even as you get older, I don’t think your desire to be in love will change all that much from how you feel now. I’ve heard that even in nursing homes, the men sometimes compete to win the attention of attractive women. It seems to happen quite normally. People probably want romance at any age.

Answer 2

Even in old age—and even after developing dementia—I think people still want to fall in love. When I used to work at a hospital, there was a patient who would hold the hand of a healthcare worker he liked and say they should go everywhere together. I remember one morning when I was walking hand in hand with an elderly gentleman to the conference as usual, another nurse asked me, “Is he your favorite?” He even held up his pinky. It makes me wonder whether men are creatures who want to be in love until the day they die.

Answer 3

When a woman from the club asks me, “Do you love me?” I tell her I do. You need excitement at any age. When a woman, my wife, or my children are happy, I feel even happier than when something good happens to me. The same goes for people at work and customers—when they respond positively, it still makes me happy. I think that feeling itself becomes a source of excitement. I believe it goes beyond sex, reaching a point where you feel truly needed and trusted.

Answer 4

I do have romantic feelings, of course. I want to be careful not to cross the line into sexual harassment, and I don’t want to forget the allowance or support. I don’t want to try to get anything for free or come across as some clueless old guy.

A question about sexuality in later life.

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A question about sexuality in later life.

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