For the first meeting, I recommend a private room. You won’t be able to calmly discuss the allowance if people around you can overhear you.
Even if you’re ordering à la carte, there are sushi restaurants, yakiniku restaurants, and French restaurants—not just izakayas—so try looking for one.
As “System” mentioned, I check their likes and dislikes on Patro, then make the reservation and let them know.
I ask whether they’d prefer a private room or a hotel buffet. If it’s a hotel buffet, that solves the problem of getting too full.
If it’s a private room, I ask what kind of cuisine they like and search on Ikyu.
Other than that, I do the same as Taro and emphasize that it’s okay to leave food unfinished.
Why not choose a private room at a slightly upscale restaurant and make it possible to decide on the day whether to order a set menu? Then you can discuss it with her and decide together.
If it’s a nice, atmospheric restaurant that only offers set menus, just make a reservation for the course. Then, on the day, ask things like, “Isn’t this a lot? Are you sure?” and before eating, show consideration by saying, “If it looks like too much, I’ll take some.” Some women will then say, “Well, in that case…” and serve you a portion. It may seem like a small thing, but it can really help close the distance between you. If it’s sushi served on a plate, you might have a fun exchange like, “Go ahead and take one.” “Oh, then I’ll have the uni.” “Ah, anything but the uni, haha.”
If you’re planning to continue seeing each other, you’ll be discussing and deciding all sorts of things together, so I think it’s perfectly fine to use the meal as an opportunity to build a relationship where you can communicate openly. That said, I was actually unsure at first too, but these days I always go with the set menu, haha. In practice, it can be easier to communicate by asking, “Does this look like too much?” rather than going à la carte and asking, “What do you want?” Women may also find it difficult to express their preferences on a first date.
Also, even if a woman says she’s fine with it, sometimes she realizes after starting to eat that it’s too much. So I think it’s important to casually keep an eye on her, and if she starts eating more slowly, say, “It’s okay to leave some if it’s too much.” This can happen not only on the first date, but even with a woman you’ve been seeing for two or three years. The other day, there was an incident where the duck soba we ordered to finish the meal turned out to be too much, so I came to the rescue. One thing you should never say when she looks like she might leave some food unfinished is, “I’ll eat the rest.” You’ll be treated as a much bigger pervert than you ever imagined.
Taro
