What do men mean when they write things like “I can’t be a generous (well-paying) papa” or “I don’t think I’m a good match for women expecting a large allowance” in their profiles?

Some men do write that, but whether he’ll actually make you an offer is a separate matter. I think you should wait until you receive an offer and then decide. In my experience, it was much worse when, after meeting in person, a man said, “I’m cheap, so is this allowance okay?” and offered an extremely low amount, compared with men who write things like that in their profiles. Once you get an offer, you should try accepting it and meet him first. Otherwise, you won’t know what kind of person he is, so I don’t think that’s where you should focus.

I judge everything based on two things: ① past actions and their stated intentions at the moment, plus ② their potential and prospects for the future. Most people tend to judge based solely on ①. In this case, they’d probably decide he’s a low-paying papa (a male supporter). But people’s attitudes aren’t reliable—they can change on a whim. They often change depending on the circumstances, and it’s also possible to influence someone’s thinking. That said, you can’t really judge ② unless you spend time getting to know them patiently. In this case, someone who has declared that he’ll never become a generous (well-paying) papa might, after spending some time together, come up with a reason that suits him and offer to become one himself. I think that’s one of the interesting things about people, so I’d probably meet him at least once and see whether there’s potential. The one thing I really want to say is that women focus too much on a man’s current attributes when choosing someone. In the end, the women who are willing to patiently stick with someone and bet on his future potential are the ones who come out ahead. I believe someone once said that you should buy stocks when their price is relatively low compared with their future potential.

Since you’re asking women to answer, but the responses seem to be coming mostly from men, I’ll answer as Taroko Taro-ko, a female troll account. By the way, I was torn between setting the character as Kenichi Mikawa or Madame Dewi, but I’ve decided on Madame Dewi. First of all, I think your instincts are right. These men are writing that they want to avoid women who ask for a high allowance, aren’t they? But the allowance is something that can be decided after actually meeting and getting to know each other. A woman might normally ask for 10, for example, but think, “With this man, I’d be fine with 5.” Yet these men are throwing away that possibility. And what do they get in return? The introduction fee, transportation costs, and the cost of the meal if the terms don’t work out after meeting. That’s all. If a woman who normally gets 10 decides that 5 is enough, that means she has genuine feelings for the man. These men aren’t looking for that kind of feeling. Or perhaps they want it but don’t believe they can actually inspire it—because they don’t think they’re attractive. The former are hopeless, but the latter aren’t much better. Like you, I suppose, I don’t find men who lack confidence attractive. So stop worrying about unnecessary things and carry yourself with confidence. When you’ve lived long enough, you realize people make countless mistakes. Always accept an offer when one comes your way. Become the kind of woman people choose. My book, by the way, is only 770 yen on Kindle. Doesn’t sound like her at all lol I sincerely apologize. I deeply regret this. I should’ve gone with Fuwachan for the character setting. Taroko

If he simply puts it in his profile, it saves everyone time, so I think it’s actually fine depending on the person asking and the woman. If he hides the fact that he’s stingy and meets her anyway, that’s just a waste of time. And if a female member doesn’t like the wording, she can always decline the offer. So, in a way, it’s better that he was upfront about it. That said, I agree that very few women would accept an offer after reading that. I do think he’s a pretty foolish papa, though.

I think it means exactly what it says. I didn’t take it as him wanting to see you on the cheap. It probably means something along the lines of, “I’d be uncomfortable if you expected too much from me.” It’s perfectly fine if you decide not to meet him. By declining, you’ve avoided a mismatch, so it worked out well for both of you.