I recently started using PATOLO as well, but I’m never sure how best to respond when I’m asked about the allowance during the messages before meeting. I can talk about it normally in person, but somehow it feels too blunt when written out. I understand wanting to confirm things in advance, so I’d like to respond sincerely—but should I simply tell them the amount I have in mind? How do you all handle it?

I believe discussions about the allowance should happen in person. Personally, I’m uncomfortable when a woman brings up the allowance herself. So ordinarily, if a woman starts talking about the allowance before we meet, I’d end the conversation there. However, if she’s exceptionally attractive—enough to outweigh that concern—I’ll start by agreeing to her requested amount. As long as it isn’t an outrageous figure, I can meet once and then decide whether I want to see her a second time.

Negotiating the allowance on PATOLO is prohibited, as it could raise suspicions of prostitution, so it’s best to refrain from doing so. If the conversation makes it seem like you have to answer, you could use euphemistic wording such as “about one hand” or “one hand plus a peace sign,” or perhaps use a peace-sign or open-hand emoji.

If this were a one-time sale, you might quote a slightly higher price, knowing that the other party may try to negotiate. In my case, I don’t negotiate. I naturally stop meeting people who seem too expensive. If I look at someone’s photos and profile and feel that their asking price is out of my range, I won’t meet them. And if we do meet but I later feel the price was too high, I simply won’t invite them again. Women also shouldn’t feel obligated to meet someone if they can’t get the amount they had in mind. That said, since there are fewer potential papas (male supporters) and more women who want to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it’s a buyer’s market, so you may not always receive the offer you were hoping for. If you absolutely need the money, you may have to compromise temporarily. In that case, it would probably just be a stopgap until someone offering better terms comes along. Women have the right to refuse in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so why not simply tell them the amount you want? If they try to negotiate, you can take that into account when deciding whether to meet them—and you have every right to decline.

I’ll answer you. If you genuinely want to give her an earnest answer, then just answer her sincerely, I’d say (lol).