He’s a papa I’ve been seeing long-term and really care about, but due to personal circumstances, I want to end our relationship.
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I fully understand that I’ll hurt him either way, but what would be the best way to end things while minimizing the pain as much as possible?
I don’t know whether it’s true, but he says I was his first experience with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and that he’s never met anyone else.
Would it be better not to tell him that it’s our last time when we meet for the final time? Saying goodbye will be painful, so I’m unsure. I do want to thank him, but I’m afraid I’ll cry.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
You’ve built a relationship with him, and you like this papa (a male supporter), right?
I think you should honestly tell him what you want to say. If you need to cry, then cry.
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Since papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is a contractual relationship, it’s perfectly reasonable to end the arrangement if either person’s life stage changes, and I’m sure your papa understands that too.
He may be disappointed at first, but I think he’ll ultimately accept that it can’t be helped.
That said, maybe you could just meet for tea, or see each other once in a while（笑). It might be nice if your relationship could transition into something that fits this next stage of your life.
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If you want to end things right away, please give a clear reason.
If you’ve been seeing each other frequently over a long period, I think they’ll understand as long as they know you’re being honest.
It may hurt, but being given some awkward excuse can leave a deeper wound.
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It’s fine to simply stop responding, but I think it’s better to send a LINE message a few days after your last meeting, rather than saying it directly. Something like: “Due to personal circumstances, I can no longer continue papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Thank you for everything.” That way, they won’t keep waiting and can move on.
If you meet in person to explain, they may try to persuade you and the conversation can drag on. Eventually, your lies might be exposed and things could become even more complicated, so I don’t recommend it. LINE is best. If you start by replying less frequently for a while, it creates a sense of foreshadowing and works well. The key is to cite personal circumstances—not your feelings—and frame it as quitting papa-katsu altogether rather than simply ending your relationship with that person. That way, it doesn’t make it seem like there was a problem between the two of you, and you can leave things on a positive note.
That’s all from a man with firsthand experience. lol
Taro
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Don’t get too sentimental about it. Since you’re the papa (a male supporter), I think it’s best to be prepared for her to cut things off at any time and simply tell her that this will be your last time seeing each other.
I’d recommend telling her sooner rather than waiting until the final day.
As a general guideline, if you’ve met more than 100 times, it would be fine to say it’s the last time but take an indefinite break. If circumstances change, you might be able to resume the arrangement or meet again.
If you’ve met more than 200 times, I don’t think there’s any need to specifically emphasize that it’s the last time. It’s probably more like you’re both moving on or taking a temporary break, while also realizing that you likely won’t ever see each other again.
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