The Law of Attraction

High-spec men get approached by women without even having to do anything, so they probably want both looks and conversation skills. Though that’s a pretty harsh thing to say. Since everyone has different preferences when it comes to conversation and personality, having amazing communication skills or coming on really strong isn’t necessarily a good thing either. Want to be liked by a high-spec man? Then the obvious answer is that you need to be his type looks-wise and have a compatible personality, lol. Personally, when it comes to my relationships here, it’s hard to meet someone perfect, so I’m always looking. For example: A woman with poor communication skills, but who’s incredibly beautiful and good at an adult relationship (intimate) A woman who’s fun to talk to, but isn’t really into an adult relationship A woman who’ll drink with me No one is perfect, so I enjoy dating multiple women...

I’m a systems engineer nearing 40—not exactly high-spec—but here’s my take… I decide based on photos and videos when making an offer, so after that, I mainly focus on communication during the dinner. That’s what matters most to me. I also make sure to read any comments or Q&A-style sections that women can fill out and edit on their profiles.

Personally, as long as we can hold a decent conversation, communication skills aren’t that important to me. What matters most is whether we’re sexually compatible and whether I’d want to be intimate with her again. An attractive, sexy body is important, so looks matter more to me. By the way, I think the more high-profile or successful a man is, the more critical he tends to be of the people who flock to him.

I think it comes down to compatibility—whether things continue for a long time and grow deeper. Looks and conversation are usually just the basics, so on their own, they don’t necessarily make you want to keep seeing someone. You also need that sense of excitement and anticipation when you’re together. And it’s important to share some fundamental values, too. For example, some people are willing to spend 30,000 yen per person on a meal but only 3,000 yen on clothes, while others are the opposite—spending 30,000 yen on clothes but only 3,000 yen on a meal.

Looks, figure, communication skills, and being fun to spend time with—apparently, there are quite a few women like that. (According to a papa.)

Hmm, communication skills aren’t something you can improve much in a short period of time. Rather than that, I think the questioner would get better results by working more on her appearance and meeting men with strong communication skills. It’s more fun to let a good communicator take the lead, right? Easier than putting in all the effort yourself. In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), demanding exceptional communication skills from the woman is something men who aren’t popular tend to do. Stand out with your looks. The man will handle the rest.

I’m a male member named Nichigetsu Shin. The answer is already basically included in the question. Having a good appearance is a given, but communication skills are what really matter. In the adult entertainment industry, appearance is everything. Even there, though, the women I want to keep seeing are the ones who can communicate properly. With papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or a regular relationship, I may like a woman because of her looks and be willing to overlook a certain amount of selfishness. But once she exceeds my limit, I no longer want to see her. At a dating club, it’s naturally assumed that her appearance is above a certain level. If I don’t find her attractive in her photos, I won’t make an offer in the first place. But when it comes to seeing her a second time—or every month or even every week—being able to communicate properly is essential. When people talk about conversation, do they really think it’s something that can be managed with a few techniques? If you’ve had a reasonable amount of real-world experience and your career is going fairly well, you can normally see through the true nature someone is trying to hide behind those techniques. This may sound cliché, but I place importance on a woman’s dignity and on whether she can show consideration and affection toward other people as well. In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), a woman may have a certain level of attractiveness, but if she has nothing beneath the surface, there won’t be a second meeting no matter how skilled she is at conversation. If I want to talk to someone who’s good at conversation, I’ll go to a club, cabaret club, or some other nightlife venue.