Maybe it’s because I’m seeing older men, but lately I’ve suddenly started wanting to try things with a handsome guy my own age—have I developed some kind of strange feeling?
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It’s not that I want to date or marry a handsome guy. I just find myself wondering whether being intimate with one might give me a different kind of thrill than being with an older man.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
I’m Hiwata Shin, a male member.
As I understand it, you’re experiencing a sense of excitement from seeing an older man, while also developing a new desire to be with a handsome man your own age.
There’s something called the mere-exposure effect: even when someone isn’t initially an object of interest or affection, repeated contact can lead you to develop feelings for them. Apparently, repeatedly seeing an older man can also make you feel excited—that’s simply part of human psychology. However, you won’t know how your feelings might change through the mere-exposure effect until you actually try meeting a handsome man your own age repeatedly.
As for this new desire, I’m not sure whether you want to find out if your excitement with the older man is genuine, or whether it reflects growing sexual desire or a sexual awakening.
When you say “handsome,” appearance is probably part of it, but I think there’s also a mental or emotional aspect. Why not try looking for a good-looking man around your own age?
People have long said that affection can develop as you spend time with someone. Even if money was the reason you started, you may have developed feelings along the way.
You’ll have to figure out for yourself how to define and sort through these feelings, through some trial and error.
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I’ve started dating a muscular rugby-playing guy (not exactly handsome), and we’ve been enjoying that kind of thing day and night. There are things I prefer about my boyfriend and things I prefer about my papas.
One thing I can say for sure is that my papa of six years is several times better than my boyfriend.
My second papa, an attractive older man I’ve been seeing for five years, and my boyfriend are about equal.
They’re all fun, so I’m happy either way. Even though my boyfriend isn’t particularly skilled, being with him feels good and makes me happy… I guess that’s the difference between him and my papas.
As you’d expect, being with a single man (not a casual sex partner—it has to be a boyfriend who really devotes himself to you) is more satisfying.
Being with my papas feels incredibly good, but the pleasure of having power over a man ends up winning out, so when it comes to feeling happy, my boyfriend has the edge.
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> I find myself wondering whether being intimate with him might give me a different kind of excitement than I feel with older men.
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Well, of course it would（笑）
The physical experience would probably feel completely different.
That said, intimacy isn’t just about how it feels physically, so whether the experience was good or bad overall is something only you can really decide based on how you felt.
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Young, handsome guys can get by without making any effort, so they’re usually not very good at it.
Maybe that’s just a stereotype.
Though honestly, I think it’s pretty accurate.
Marika
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As part of our animal nature—as instinct—we want to pass on young, superior genes.
When women are held by a young, handsome man, I suppose their instincts must be thrilled.
When I’m with a young, beautiful woman, I also feel a pleasure so intense it’s like electricity running through my brain.
But if she’s only young and beautiful, once is enough. Since humans have emotions and reason, we start wanting other qualities besides youth and beauty.
Desire is endless, haha.
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Isn’t that perfectly normal?
I’ve been having kaiseki-style Japanese cuisine and sushi a lot lately, so today I had a pork cutlet curry (medium) at Katsuya.
I wouldn’t want to eat at Katsuya every day, but once in a while, it gives me a different kind of excitement from high-end Japanese cuisine.
Taro
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