He originally lived overseas, so we only met about five times in total. He was a kind papa who would see me while visiting Japan on business.
Since he lived abroad by himself, I made sure to reply to his LINE messages as often as possible and chose words I knew would make him happy so we could stay close. But when we were finally going to meet again recently, I wasn’t feeling well and felt really bad because he had already kept the day open for me. So I went anyway.
He had said he wanted to celebrate my birthday, but he didn’t ask what I wanted or anything（笑）. What he gave me was chocolate from the supermarket—with the price tag still on it←
And a teddy bear← I’m not a baby（笑）
Of course, I had never asked him for anything expensive or for anything in particular. On LINE, he would say things like, “It’s duty-free, so I’ll buy you clothes,” or “If you come to New York with me, I’ll buy you a Harry Winston.” But of course, they were just words.
When we actually met, he never mentioned any of that. We spent the whole day together—lunch, a hotel, and dinner.
The reason we broke up was that, when we were at the hotel, he tried to go in without protection. When I gently brought it up, he said, “You have other papas, don’t you? Since I can only see you occasionally, there’s no benefit for you in being with me anyway,” and kept acting jealous.
I was fed up, and when I showed that I was upset, he told me to cancel dinner and go home.
I deeply regretted taking a whole day of paid leave for him. My feelings showed, and that night I ended things with him by message.
The next morning, I reflected a little on how childish I had acted and sent him another message, but he left me on read. To top it off, I saw that he was logged into Patolo looking for a new girl.
I have one other papa, but because of my own preconceived notions, I’m now worried since he also has type AB blood, just like the papa I broke up with—and there are a few ways they’re similar.
I don’t want to have lots of papas. I really wanted to stay with this papa for a long time, so I’m feeling very sad. This was the first time I had ever blocked someone on LINE.
I want to spend a long time with my other papa. Does anyone have any advice?
He’s in his 40s, like the other one, and visits Japan. We meet at a hotel twice a month. The allowance is 40,000 per meeting, plus 10,000 when we have dinner.
He has bought me cosmetics, clothes, concert tickets, and, although it wasn’t anything extravagant, a necklace for my birthday. More than anything, he’s an incredibly kind person. I never make a point of showing him that I like him, to the point that he sometimes seems worried about it. The truth is, I really do love him, though.
Please advise me on how I can maintain this relationship for a long time.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂40s👑Universe female member
I’m with Fuu on this one!
I feel the same way.
Let me share a little about my own situation. I’ve been seeing the same woman exclusively for five years now. We’re more than 40 years apart in age, so she’s never told me she loves me—at least not beyond simply liking me—but she has told me that I’m important to her.
She also says, “It wouldn’t last if we didn’t both have feelings for each other, right?”
The most telling thing is when we see our reflections together in shop windows around town. With our age difference, I honestly don’t think we look like a good match at all, but she confidently says, “We look perfect together” (laughs).
Whenever she says that, I just end up replying, “Okay, okay, I get it!”—and this has been going on forever (laughs).
Her lifestyle is going to change next spring, so I’m starting to wonder, “What are we going to do then?”
I hope this helps.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
From the man’s perspective, there are very few women who want to continue having an adult relationship beyond the third or fourth time. Even fewer want to meet three or four times a month.
Most women in a dating club are attractive and have good personalities, generally falling somewhere in the upper or upper-middle range by society’s standards. When it comes to an adult relationship, however, appearance and personality are unrelated, so you could say that women from all walks of life—from the very bottom to the very top—are represented.
For both male and female club members, meeting only once or twice a month is a very sustainable arrangement, and there’s no real need to end things. At the same time, though, it can also be described as a relationship where either person would be fine if it ended at any time.
From a club man’s perspective, it’s possible to meet—and continue making offers to—a woman whose appearance and personality are exactly what he likes, and whose compatibility in an adult relationship is also perfect.
Looking at it objectively:
> Meeting at a hotel twice a month
> Plus ¥10,000 when meeting for dinner on a pay-per-meeting basis of ¥40,000
This may mean that the man likes her to a moderate extent, but not exceptionally so.
I don’t think a woman needs to say things like “I like you” outright. The relationship will probably deepen if there are things that make the man feel they share something special—such as their adult relationship, her expressions in everyday situations, a unique connection they sense and build together, or the feeling that their relationship has progressed compared with before.
That said, there are many club women who are both attractive and pleasant, so standing out based on those two qualities alone is quite difficult.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Don’t overdo the “I really like you” act—you don’t want him to take it seriously. But you do need to satisfy your papa’s need for validation.
If he remains a member of the club, more and more attractive women will keep joining, so do your best not to lose out to them.
Pay close attention to him. In particular, if you satisfy him in an adult relationship (intimate), I think there’s a better chance the arrangement will last.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You should probably show that you like him. If I felt you were only coming reluctantly, I’d eventually end things.
I don’t think being type AB has anything to do with it. Your blood type doesn’t determine your personality.
The gifts don’t really matter, do they? As long as he pays the allowance properly in cash. People who make promises but never follow through aren’t worth your time. Even if he’s kind, you should move on.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Hizuki Arata, a male member.
First of all, the “choco papa with a price tag” you parted ways with and your pay-per-meeting papa who gives you 40,000 yen may seem similar to you, but they’re completely different people.
They may share the same nationality or race, but just as there are both hardworking and lazy Japanese people, they’re entirely different individuals.
I think your preconception that they’re the same—or even similar—is likely to lead your relationship with the pay-per-meeting papa to the same outcome as your relationship with the choco papa with a price tag.
Also, it seems that one reason your relationships become boring is that you act on your own interpretations as though they were facts.
You say that after he read your LINE message, he didn’t reply for several hours, but whether the choco papa with a price tag was ignoring you is entirely your interpretation. Maybe he was carefully thinking about how to respond, or perhaps he was busy.
You might argue that he was logged into Patro, but while it’s true that Patro showed him as being online, your belief that he was looking for other girls is pure speculation. Maybe he was reviewing your profile, or perhaps he simply logged in on his computer and left it open.
It seems like you’re playing Detective Conan, coming up with one theory after another and gradually accepting increasingly uninteresting deductions as facts.
As for not making an effort to appeal to him, that may be based on your own past experience or something you picked up online. If you listen to the other person and learn what they like—for example, whether your pay-per-meeting papa is the type who gets more excited when you show interest—and tailor your approach to him, I think the relationship could last a long time.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
