I met up with a man in his late 50s who had made me an offer, and we went out for a meal. However, he had a very strong body odor, and the smell was intense from the moment we met until we said goodbye, to the point that I started feeling sick.
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I really do feel bad, but I’m not comfortable with men who have strong body odor, so I’m thinking of declining to continue seeing him.
During the meal, he mentioned that he hadn’t had much experience dating women in the past.
How should I tell him I’m not interested without hurting his feelings?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Universe female member
Personally, I’m the type who would want to know the reason, but no one has ever told me.
Fading out is probably the safest approach.
When they contact you about meeting again, try turning them down every other time or so. I think they’ll eventually get the hint.
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In the past, when I met women with a strong intimate odor or body odor, I would block them without making another date and end things that way, trying not to hurt their feelings.
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I’m Shin Nichigetsu, a male member.
Since relationships are between people, I think there are three elements involved: you, the other person, and the relationship between you.
It’s quite common for both people to be perfectly fine individually, yet simply not click. Even with rejection notices, companies often don’t explain much, saying something along the lines of, “There’s nothing wrong with you, but you don’t quite match what the company is looking for.”
And when it’s simply a matter of compatibility, things like the cleanliness or sincerity women mention are completely subjective, with no clear scale to measure them by. So there really isn’t a specific reason.
If you start assigning blame—including to yourself—or pointing out some inconvenience, the other person may respond with things like, “Should I improve that?” or “That part isn’t a problem,” which just becomes a hassle.
Lying isn’t very smooth either, because it turns into a game of trying to figure out what the truth really is—almost like playing detective.
So perhaps it’s best not to give a reason.
Even if there is a reason, you simply decided not to pursue things because, after meeting, you didn’t feel you could date.
Or because you just weren’t compatible.
Isn’t it usually something along those lines?
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Tell them they have a strong underarm odor, but put it kindly. Say there are surgeries for it, so you’ll meet them once it’s been treated.
I think leaving it untreated when surgery is available is a public nuisance.
You’d be doing society a favor and helping the next person. Give feedback and ask the staff to note that only someone with a poor sense of smell could manage.
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Thank you for your question. I’ll share my thoughts as well.
When it comes to meeting through Universe Club, we explain from the outset that both men and women have the right to decline.
So I think you can simply turn down the next meeting without giving a particular reason. In fact, very few women seem to reject someone while explaining the real reason.
That’s why staff sometimes hear men say they’d like to know the reason, but ultimately, I think the man has to figure it out for himself.
Whatever the reason may be, I believe it ultimately comes down to compatibility. Something A dislikes might be something B likes—or something B doesn’t care about at all.
Men may feel somewhat disappointed in the moment, but I think many of them understand this on a fundamental level.
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Turning someone down can be difficult, can’t it?
Many people find it easiest and quickest to simply leave messages unread, but this is a dating club, not an app or hookup site. I think it’s more polite and appropriate to say, “Work has gotten busy, so I’ve decided to focus on my career for a while.”
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