I’m thinking of ending things with a woman I’ve been seeing for about a year.
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During our relationship, she’s told me several times that she doesn’t want me to suddenly stop contacting her and that she wants us to talk things through properly.
I could meet her one last time and talk, as she wishes, but I feel like I wouldn’t be able to be honest with her. I’d probably just have to give some harmless excuse and have a pointless conversation about there being no future for us.
As much as I hate to say it, ignoring her LINE messages or blocking her seems like the smoothest option. How do you all usually end things? I’d appreciate any advice.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
With girls I’ve been seeing for about a year, I used to explain the reasons to some extent—though not always completely truthfully—and add roughly one extra allowance for a meeting before ending things fairly respectfully.
But over time, I started finding it too much effort. I stopped contacting them, and even when they reached out, I’d make up some excuse not to meet. Most of the time, they’d take the hint and things would naturally fade out.
If they still contacted me, I’d either block them without saying anything or send a message like, “For personal reasons, I’m going to take a break from papa-katsu,” and then block them.
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Thank you for your question. Maezawa here with an answer as well.
I often hear men say that they hate it when a woman suddenly stops responding.
Even so, considering the difference in position between men and women, I think it’s fine for a woman to block and delete someone.
Since you’re a man, though, I think it would be better to properly tell her that you’re ending things.
Any reason should be fine. Just explain clearly that you won’t be able to meet again and say goodbye.
As Aya wrote, giving her a ¥100,000 parting payment and saying goodbye without going to a hotel does sound pretty classy. That said, I also think it would be fine to go to a hotel and say goodbye there.
At the very least, I’d suggest giving her a somewhat larger allowance than usual.
And when parting, perhaps say:
“Let’s meet again! If you don’t hate me, that is!”
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Parting ways is my top priority.
I’ve never actually ended a relationship since I started dating through a dating club.
Lately, I’ve been thinking that my partner is really quite an amazing woman（笑）. We’ve been together for five years in a fully committed relationship, and I can tell that she genuinely thinks about me too.
On top of that, she no longer needs an allowance-based relationship, but she doesn’t seem to want to end things either. Her living situation will also be changing next spring, so I’m not sure what to do.
I’m really at a loss～.
Sorry this wasn’t an answer to your question!
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When it comes to women I meet through a dating club, I don’t really think in terms of “breaking up.” As long as meeting and staying in touch benefits both of us, I consider it an ongoing relationship.
If we had been meeting every week for a year, I’d reduce it to once or twice a month and continue seeing her.
If we hadn’t been meeting weekly and had met fewer than 50 times in total over the year, I’d gradually reduce the frequency and let the relationship fade out. Even after we stopped meeting, I’d still reply if she contacted me.
I only leave messages on read or unread when I’ve known someone for just a few months or so.
I also get the impression that your judgment when choosing partners isn’t particularly good.
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If it’s too difficult, you could meet one last time, give her ten times the usual pay-per-meeting allowance without going to a hotel, and part ways with a grateful “Thank you for everything.” But you probably don’t want to go that far.
If neither of you knows the other’s personal information, you may not even need to block her. You could simply start taking longer to reply on LINE and gradually fade out.
A one-year arrangement isn’t particularly long, so I think you’ll be fine.
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