Tips
Sep 29, 2023 23:18
5 answers
Other
I think it really depends on what you want.
If you simply want to express your feelings, you’d start by telling him you like him. But if you want to date him romantically rather than as papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), you could tell him, “I’d like to be with you without an allowance.”
Honestly, you won’t know what he’s looking for by joining the club unless you ask him. If he’s only looking for something casual, he might find that a little intense. That said, a single male acquaintance of mine joined for the same reason people use dating apps—to meet a wonderful woman.
I also know someone who met their spouse through papa-katsu, so I think it’s worth seeing it as fate and telling him how you feel.
I hope your feelings get through to him. Best of luck.
いっつ・みぃ
Male
Send a reverse offer to this responder
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Other
Think about why a single man who seems highly skilled at dating would go out of his way to enter the world of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
Could it be because he wants to keep his distance from ordinary romantic relationships—because he doesn’t want to hear things like, “Be my boyfriend,” or “I want to have your children”?
You’re free to tell him how you feel, but make sure you’re fully aware of the risks, too.
It’s me.
🏅 日没を遅らせる唯一の方法は日没に向かって走り続けることだ
名古屋支店登録で、男性会員としての登録名もマックさんです。コラム多数書いてますのでよろしければご参照ください。20代の細身女性が好みで逆オファーには前向きです。経験無いまたは少ない方大歓迎。
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
Rather than showing your feelings, dating without an allowance would help you figure out how you really feel—whether you genuinely like that man, or whether you simply like the papa who gives you money.
From the man’s perspective too, I think his attitude would be different toward someone he gives money to versus someone he doesn’t. Moving from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to a romantic relationship is like a temp worker becoming a full-time employee. Sometimes you may find that staying a temp was actually more comfortable.
Saying, “It’s okay if you don’t give me an allowance,” won’t get the message across. It’s like Soseki translating “I love you” as “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” Expecting him to read between the lines is asking too much.
I think all you can really do is say, “Would you consider dating me?” If he turns you down, it’ll probably be hard to see him again, so you need to be prepared for that.
When you’re involved in papa-katsu, you probably forget the basics of romance like this.
Other
I’ve fallen for my papa and want to date him without an allowance…
I’m worried that the man might back away instead.
A lot of papas are married, right? They probably feel secure because giving an allowance keeps a clear boundary between you. If that arrangement disappears, they may start wondering anxiously, “What is she going to expect from me now?”
But if your papa is the one who brings it up, accept his feelings.
Just don’t become a woman who’s convenient for him, okay? You’re worth more than that.
Other
Wouldn’t saying “I like you” be the first step? If she doesn’t respond with, “Wait, why?” then I think that’s enough.
If a woman is genuinely serious about someone, she normally wouldn’t accept money. Rather, I feel she’s indirectly saying, “This isn’t that kind of relationship, is it?”
As a man, you might think, “It was part of our arrangement, so it’s fine if I don’t pay, right?” But that feels awkward, so you try to give her the money anyway—and there have been several times when the woman got upset because of it.
Being okay with going without protection or allowing him to finish inside can also be signs, but it depends on the person, so men shouldn’t get their hopes up. In that sense, “money” is the usual indicator. On the other hand, if she likes you but still needs money and wants to rely on you, the communication tends to become correspondingly more serious and emotionally involved.
Taro