How long have your relationships with women typically lasted?

I think it’s because we have just the right amount of distance between us. When we’re together, he’s kind, doesn’t mind being affectionate, and even tells me he loves me. But when we’re apart, we only message each other to confirm our schedules. Even when we go out separately, he doesn’t bring back souvenirs or anything. But when it comes to things worth spending money on, he’ll really go all out. When I’m with my papa (a male supporter), I feel like I can leave everything to him and know it’ll be okay, no matter what happens. That’s why we’ve been going strong for so long. Marika

I’ve been seeing my papa for five—or maybe seven—years now. I think it’s because I have absolutely no desire to get married, don’t mind working around my papa’s schedule, and he was the type to prefer long-term relationships from the beginning.

In my case, I’ve been married to my wife for over 40 years, and I’ve been seeing the woman from the dating club I’m currently involved with for five years now—just the one woman. As for what I try to keep in mind: - Be patient. (Don’t make unreasonable demands or expect too much.) - Listen to what she says and do what I can to help. - Say what I want to say, and ask her to improve what she can. Something along those lines, I suppose（笑） In particular, there’s a more than 40-year age gap between me and the woman from the club. She’s around the age of someone between my child and grandchild. I’m sure she has to put up with a lot, even though I may be getting some preferential treatment. I’m sure a younger, handsome guy would be far better than an old man like me. And these days, her income is stable, so I assume she no longer needs my support… but she still hasn’t left（笑）

Just like saving money, you don’t build up savings simply by trying to make money—they accumulate as a result. Relationships are the same. It also depends on whether the man is cold-hearted. As you keep meeting, can he come to cherish the fact that you’re seeing each other so often? That isn’t about whether he’s a good or bad person; it’s a matter of personality. So I don’t think there’s much you can do to make it happen. When Kazu says, “I only stay with women who never bore me,” it sounds rather extravagant—like the king in *One Thousand and One Nights*—but I can certainly relate to that. Women want to become more beautiful, but if you want to capture a man’s heart, it’s better to aim to be a woman who never gets boring. Even a beautiful woman can become tiresome, and there’s always someone more beautiful.

I think relationships last when they develop a certain familiarity: routine, a comfortable sense of inertia, a long-standing bond, a safe bet—even like the bottom hole on a pachinko machine. It’s a heartwarming idea to keep things fresh and prevent the relationship from becoming stale, but that’s a bit like setting a new distance record in a human-powered aircraft contest. The skill is impressive, but statistically speaking, the odds are bound to be low. If you can build a relationship that lasts without having to make that kind of effort, you’re unbeatable. At first, fancy French restaurants and high-end sushi in Ginza are great, but eventually Torikizoku, Ootoya, and ramen shops become the norm, and you end up arguing because she complains that she isn’t being treated properly. Somehow, I feel that kind of relationship may actually last longer.（笑） Taro

All of my favorite women from the club have been seeing me for over three years. Even the club woman who’s a candidate to become a favorite will soon have been with me for a year. I’ve already paid her roughly two years’ worth of allowance in advance, so I can’t exactly break things off… I suppose she could simply walk away and keep the money, but she doesn’t seem inclined to leave. The relationships I had with girlfriends I met in the past have all lasted over 20 years by now, so my relationships with women from the club still feel like they’re only about one-tenth as long. I think that when people develop feelings for each other over many years, it becomes difficult to part ways. In my case, though, I’m not handsome, so women feel comfortable saying whatever they want to me and freely showing all their emotions… The women from the club tell me pretty much everything—complaints, criticisms, grievances, selfish requests, whatever is on their minds—almost as casually as they would to their own father. Apparently, they also find it easy to ask me for anything they want to do. Maybe the fact that I sometimes feel stressed is just because they’re that appealing? Or perhaps I’m simply used to it by now. I’m not the type to get irritated or angry, so maybe that makes them feel at ease. I think things continue when both people become attached to each other. As for your question, I’m not specifically aiming for long-term relationships, and I don’t make any particular effort to maintain them. We both just act naturally and be ourselves. If there’s anything I intentionally do, it would be this: I choose to date women whom I feel, when we meet, I’d like to have as partners for a long time. I don’t think my eye for people has been wrong very often. Also, since I’m not handsome, one advantage is that even without me saying anything, women tend to interpret everything in the best possible way and assume that they alone are special to me. I think that’s a major factor too.