I’m a man in my 50s—perhaps the male version of a Type A member—and I prefer dates centered around meals. I’m committed to not having sex, but I’m not quite sure how much allowance is appropriate.
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Since we spend a fair amount of time together, I sometimes feel bad offering only transportation costs…
I get the impression that quite a few male members enjoy nonsexual relationships. For women they particularly like, about how much do they usually give as a token of appreciation?
And what do the female members think?
I’m Saito, a columnist ♪
If I meet someone and don’t feel we’re a good match, I give her ¥20,000, drive her to dinner, keep it to about an hour, and then take her home. This is the only non-sexual arrangement I have.
Even with women I’m intimate with, if they’re busy with work or simply aren’t in the mood, I still give them the usual amount for an intimate meeting.
So there are times when we just have tea and I pay ¥15,000–¥25,000, but that’s limited to women I’ve been seeing for more than two years.
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Maezawa answers:
I think it’s best to discuss it and decide together. Ideally, you want an arrangement that makes both of you happy.
It may be difficult for the woman to bring it up, so I think it would be good for the man to start the conversation and ask what she has in mind.
If her expectations are within what you’re comfortable with, you can simply say, “Okay, we’ll do that going forward.”
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