Tips May 30, 2019 23:35

I’m sorry if my question is difficult to understand…

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My understanding is that a mistress is someone you have meals with and receive other forms of support from, while an affair partner is someone with whom there is no direct exchange of money. The difference between the two, as I see it, is whether or not there is ongoing financial support. I met a man who didn’t want a relationship involving an allowance and was looking for an emotional connection, like that between romantic partners, without any allowance. He said he wanted to continue seeing me in the future, so I felt there was a difference in what we were each looking for.
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2 answers

斉藤さんだぞ♪
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Column writer Saito here♪ He just wants to get things for free, so don’t worry about it too much. There are plenty of cases where having an affair actually costs more money. When I hold social gatherings with female members, this comes up incredibly often: “I’m told, ‘I want a relationship without money being involved.’” I also feel like there are certain areas where I hear this kind of thing especially often. They pay everything from the membership fee to the offer fee to join a gray-area dating club, and then say they want a relationship without money involved. I find that pretty amusing. Men like that didn’t exist back in the day. That’s the times we live in, I guess. LOL
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Maezawa here. I see—that’s what happened. Rather than looking for an affair, he was looking for a girlfriend without providing an allowance. Naturally, that’s a completely different objective. I can certainly understand why the woman would feel disappointed. We may need to discuss internally whether we should make our explanations more thorough. That said, when it comes to what we can actually do, anything after the meal is considered free to develop into a romantic relationship. So it isn’t technically a violation of the rules, and there isn’t much we can do specifically. Even so, I feel we should probably let him know that his objective seems to be different. Did you happen to submit feedback about this incident? If you do, I think we could at least tell the man something along the lines of, “It seems your objective may be different from that of this service.” Even if we’re unable to say that directly, we may be able to add a note to the offer stating, “This man appears to have this kind of objective, so you’re welcome to decline.”
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