Taro and Kazu, thank you very much for your answers.
Your advice was very helpful and gave me a lot to think about.
I did have positive feelings toward him, but the reason I didn’t answer immediately was that I wanted to go home, check my part-time work schedule, and confirm when I could definitely meet him.
However, I now realize that Taro interpreted “I’ll check my schedule later…” as something people often say when they intend to decline. I deeply regret giving that impression.
Also, when I said, “Thank you very much,” I meant, “Thank you for taking the time to make time for me today despite being busy.”
But if Taro thought, “If it were me, I’d assume the chances were less than fifty-fifty,” then the man I met may have thought the same thing.
I’ll be much more careful from now on.
After checking my part-time work schedule, I emailed him the date, time, and location for our next meeting, and he was very pleased.
Kazu, your comment that “I agree that saying you’ll take some time to think about the next appointment is a standard way of declining” was also very helpful.
I deeply regret not realizing that saying I’d get back to him about the next appointment could be taken as a standard way of declining, and I’ll be much more careful in the future.
Taro and Kazu, thank you both so much for your valuable advice.
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Since there’s no question today, I’ll release some energy here instead.
In this case, your partner may indeed have felt that way, so perhaps it was a mistake in that sense. But they were happy to hear from you so quickly about your schedule, right? The person who liked you may have been disappointed at first, but after receiving your message, that initial disappointment might actually have made them even more excited. Or, to put it another way, they may have offered to meet another woman after becoming disappointed and before hearing from you—because they thought it wasn’t going to work out. That’s how people’s feelings can swing back and forth in response to all sorts of factors.
The exchanges in this question box are the same, aren’t they? Mac-san touched on it a little. Personally, I don’t mind at all, but I do think many people would feel the way Mac-san described.
Apparently, there was a famous go or shogi master—I can’t remember who—who made a habit of sitting on his opponent’s cushion during breaks in a match and looking at the board from his opponent’s perspective. It’s the same idea, isn’t it?
If you incorporate that kind of perspective, I think you’ll be able to move on to a higher level of understanding your concerns. There are all kinds of things to work on, but keep at it while giving yourself credit for moving forward, even little by little.
Taro
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“Thank you so much” is in the past tense, but if you’re saying it when parting that day—not over LINE—it would sound odd without “today”: “Thank you so much for today.”
As for replying after you get home, it’s perfectly fine to check your schedule and respond later that day. Especially after a first meeting, taking some time to get home before answering is more reliable than replying immediately, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.
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