Is the setup fee for a letter date usually lower than for a regular date?

Thank you for your question. Maezawa here. The setting fee for a letter date is half the usual amount. Because of that, I get the impression that it’s increasingly being used by men who are short on money and want to save on the setting fee. However, as you mentioned, there also seem to be many men who assume that simply saying they want to go ahead with a date will make it easy to set a date. We even receive complaints saying things like, “I can’t meet the woman because there must be something wrong with her.” Among the staff, they’re saying, “Do these men really think setting up a date is that easy?” The men themselves don’t realize that they’re being regarded as completely hopeless. It’s also unfortunate for the women who are being viewed that way. Given these circumstances, I think it’s probably better to decline letter dates. That said, I believe the person who first suggested the idea said that the fee didn’t necessarily have to be cut in half. So perhaps none of this would have happened if they hadn’t reduced it by half. On the other hand, since the staff don’t have to spend as much time arranging the date, lowering the fee accordingly seemed reasonable—but I’m not sure whether that was the right decision... Anyway, since PATOLO allows unlimited messaging, you could communicate there first and then use the automatic setting feature once you’ve agreed to meet. That should keep the setting fee down. But then men who are short on money might all move over to PATOLO, which would be good for Universe. On the other hand, women might decide they don’t want to use PATOLO if it’s full of men like that. Who knows how it will turn out.

You’ve misunderstood. A letter date is, quite literally, a pen-pal date. It isn’t merely a way to coordinate an in-person meeting. It’s meant to give both people time to get a feel for each other. That’s why, in a pen-pal arrangement, casual letters from the other person should be treated just like an in-person date. What you’re saying comes across as, “Once the date is set, there’s no need to communicate anymore.” You should treat the other person sincerely and with proper respect. If you feel the person you’re letter-dating is beneath your standards, you can simply decline. And if their messages are careless or they come on too strong, feel free to turn them down.

I’ve never tried a letter-based dating service, but I suppose it comes down to how users are matched. Chatting with younger women can be fun too, though（笑） Ah! So that’s what you don’t like（笑） If you find someone bothersome, just mark them as a no-go. For me, it’s more about mutual benefit, I guess. I need to be able to see the other person’s face. I don’t feel comfortable with transactions conducted using only numbers and text online（笑） Even when I joined a dating club, I’d go there just to hang out, even when I had no particular business（笑）

I only use Letter Dates for reverse offers—when I look for “Mac,” a male member at the Nagoya branch, send him a “I’ve been reading your Q&A posts and columns!” message, and then make an offer for me to respond to, along with “You seem wonderful.” The reason is that it makes it easier to work out the details of the first date. In the past, even for reverse offers, I would apply for a regular date and have the staff relay messages beforehand, saying, “Please pass this along to him.” But it seems the staff are understandably reluctant to relay anything too risqué in their position, so they eventually told me, “We’ll refund half the fee, so please communicate directly with each other through a Letter Date.” Since then, I’ve used Letter Dates for all my reverse offers. For offers that aren’t reverse offers, I don’t use Letter Dates. The reason is that the fee is cut in half. I feel like I should let Universe make some money too. Does that make sense? It’s the kind of thinking you get from the owner of a small, locally based business in a regional city. I feel like Date-san would understand.

Yes, you can choose what’s a dealbreaker. That said, being able to screen people before meeting in person is one of the advantages of letter dating. It saves you the trouble of meeting up—and even getting ready and doing your makeup. And when you’re meeting someone you’re genuinely excited to see, you’re already fairly comfortable with each other by the time you meet for the first time, despite the usual nerves. I think that makes it easier for both of you to bring out the best in each other. All of my favorite girls over the past four and a half years were people I met through letter dating or online, not through arranged introductions.

It’s half price! Please direct any requests to the branch. Honestly, I think the quickest solution is to simply disallow messages.