I’m “Shirousa,” a rookie answerer.
One of my real-life mistresses had suffered from depression. I supported her devotedly for several years, but she eventually moved back to her family home. She contacted me later and told me she’s married now. She sincerely thanked me for everything I had done for her at the time.
People in these kinds of relationships sometimes carry emotional baggage, and may start questioning themselves—“Is this really okay?”—until their mental health begins to decline. Some papas may worry that things could become troublesome. Or perhaps signs of that side of her had already shown through in the way she interacted with you.
She may be leaving gently because she doesn’t want to hurt you. There may also be a cautious side to her—she may not want to blame herself either. In any case, I don’t think it’s because she dislikes you.
As Taro said, if you’re able to manage your emotions, I don’t think there’s a problem. Once you’ve built a solid relationship of trust, you might consider opening up to her. After all, you were able to have a proper relationship until now. I’m sure she’ll continue treating you the same way.
You sound like a beautiful person, so keep going!
Being sick isn’t something the person can help, after all.
I may act cold toward people who are malicious or have seriously misunderstood something, to convey, “No, that’s not right.” But I would never be cold to someone because of an illness or some other issue that isn’t their fault.
That doesn’t mean I’ll necessarily continue seeing someone just because I don’t act cold toward them, though. There can be all kinds of reasons. For example, the way they laugh might remind me of a male classmate from high school; they might not have a mental illness, but be so extremely particular that intimacy turns into something like *The Restaurant of Many Orders*, with demands like “That’s not okay either” and “Neither is that”; or, simply, their areolas might be the size of CDs and remind me of the pigeon-deterring balloons hung up at train stations. None of those things worked for me, but they’re just part of who the person is—not something bad. I’m sure there are people who would like those traits or not mind them at all.
Even if someone has a mental illness, I don’t think they need to mention it if they have it under control. In reality, it probably wouldn’t have much impact. The stage where you’ve become close enough to talk about yourselves is still an early phase of a relationship, and I don’t think that’s something you need to bring up then. With a dating club, things can become intimate right away, so it’s a bit different, but in a normal relationship, there are certain things people only bring up around the time they become intimate. Like having had plastic surgery, having appeared in adult videos in the past, or having had an abortion. By then, the relationship is established enough that you feel they won’t hate you over it, but when you’re about to become even closer, you still feel you ought to tell them—and you confess it nervously.
So, I think you’re making too big a deal out of your illness. If you have it under control, it should be fine. Simply put, I think this was a tactical mistake about when to reveal a secret. If you asked because you thought your partner’s smile was just a polite one, then I’d say that twisted way of thinking may be the real problem. I know it’s difficult, but try to keep things simpler. It’s not because of your illness.
Taro
