It’s generally understood that you keep the whole day free on days you meet. Even when I try to save time, he won’t take his clothes off right away, and we end up chatting aimlessly. The intimate part only starts about three hours before we’re supposed to leave.
I guess it’s because if we finish early, I’ll just go home right away.
What bothers me is that I only get 30,000 yen for all that. I wouldn’t complain if it had happened once or twice because we spent a long time together, but it’s been going on for years.
I put up with it thinking there might be some kind of reward, but he turned out not to offer anything like that at all.
What should I have done?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
If you don’t like it, just fade out.
If you can’t even do that, your only choice is to become a slave and serve a papa who gives you a ¥30,000 allowance.
The real world isn’t that kind.
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A papa (a male supporter) is someone who fulfills a woman’s wishes and desires.
If he isn’t willing to give you what you want, then he’s not really a papa.
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You’ve put up with this while carrying all that stress for long enough, so I think it’s okay to cut him off now.
As for what you should have done differently… from now on, don’t let yourself be swayed by a man’s selfish circumstances, claims, or demands. If you can’t bring yourself to say no, just block him.
You’ve endured enough. There are other people out there who will truly value and care about you in the real sense of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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If you didn’t have any other offers, then you didn’t really miss out on anything, so I think it was fine to accept it.
However, if being in that relationship meant missing out on other opportunities or time that could have enriched your life, then I think you should have ended it sooner.
This is just my personal feeling, but if nothing has happened by this point, it probably isn’t going to. And if something were going to happen, it would have happened long ago, unfortunately.
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People who have to ask others about every little thing probably aren’t suited for dating, so I think it’s best for them not to pursue relationships.
People who are good at it can naturally build relationships with others—for example, by creating unspoken understandings, such as leaving an entire day open when they plan to meet, without having to be told.
Even people who are good at it likely developed their own ways of communicating through trial and error from a young age. And even if you’re trying to learn now, communication isn’t something you can master simply by reading about how other people do it.
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