Starting today, non-consensual sexual activity is being treated as a crime, so I’m scared and hesitant to continue with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).

Conversely, with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), if both people agree that the allowance is being paid in exchange for an adult relationship (intimate), it feels less risky than not getting consent and just going along with a “maybe we’re dating” kind of vibe.

I’m sorry, but I can’t help feeling that most of the men opposing this law are just guys who can’t get dates. They’ve never been able to read a woman’s feelings and have always prioritized their own desires. Honestly, I’d say 90% of these men don’t even understand the significance of this law. Don’t sully the movement toward a kinder, more comfortable society with nostalgia for the days when violence was rampant. Women aren’t dumping grounds for your twisted desires. When are you people finally going to get that?

The fact that this already scares you... It seems unlikely that you’ll be able to have a proper relationship, which is unfortunate. Akari

As long as you confirm on LINE, “An adult relationship for 50,000 yen—is that okay?” there shouldn’t be any problem. Compared with dating without an allowance, I feel it’s easier to get consent for sex. Back in the Showa era, the default was apparently to make a move and pin her down, then judge whether sex was okay based on how much she resisted. That probably wouldn’t fly in the Reiwa era. Even if she wasn’t receptive after you pinned her down, the key was knowing when to back off so things wouldn’t get awkward afterward. But there were also times when I backed off too soon and got criticized with, “You’re stopping here?? Unbelievable!” Ah, memories.

I’ll overlook the fact that it says “non-consensual opposite-sex acts” rather than “non-consensual sex,” making it sound like you could get arrested for cross-dressing without consent. If you’re worried, then stop. You’re not cut out for this. Apparently, the solution is to obtain explicit consent every time, so unless you have an exchange like, “Would you like to have sex now?” “Yes, gladly!” you’re in trouble. You might even have to put it in writing. In a few years, we may have to say things like, “I’ve been going down on you for ten minutes, so may I put it in now?” “No, you’re not very good and I’m not wet, so it would hurt. I’m going to report you—could you try a little harder?” Compliance freaks, am I right? It’s the same with sexual harassment: for the most part, it’s unpopular losers who get reported. Take that recent lawsuit involving a transgender person and a restroom. In the fashion industry, there are plenty of people who are “men, but women on the inside,” and even when they work in offices in multi-tenant buildings with shared restrooms divided up according to old conventions, nobody complains. If anything, those people are often more capable than anyone else, lol. Those stories only come up because there are tactless people who can’t behave normally, and the compliance crowd has to step in. To people who can act normally, the whole thing can seem completely incomprehensible. I’ve gone a little off topic. I do understand that it’s difficult to tell someone who doesn’t know what “normal” is to behave normally. But if you’re going to practice, don’t do it with an ordinary woman from a dating club. I wrote before that you should practice at a sex-service establishment, but that would bother the women working there too—especially at a delivery service, where the woman is on unfamiliar territory, so don’t do it there. Start with a venue-based brothel, soapland, or hostess club—somewhere completely under staff control, where they’ll come running immediately—and only after you can get through the things you’re not supposed to do without incident. Like trying to penetrate someone during playtime at an oppai pub. I’ve heard stories like that from women. Surely most men have had an experience where they acted completely without consent and did whatever they wanted, only to get a light knock on the head afterward accompanied by, “Honestly, you’re so selfish!” Isn’t it sad, as a man, if you’ve never had anything like that happen? If I were a politician, I’d pass a law recognizing only men who’d had that kind of experience as “true adults.” I’d link it properly to the My Number system and make it impossible to join a dating club unless you were a true adult. Then, on Coming-of-Age Day, the “true adults” would lecture the “new adults” for an hour, saying, “You little chicks don’t know anything yet!” Wow, I’m starting to get excited! Taro

It’s simply a matter of getting your partner’s clear consent. As long as you don’t secretly remove the condom or try to enter without putting one on or saying anything, I don’t see what the problem is. Is it really that difficult? The important thing is to communicate properly with your partner and make sure you both agree. As long as you don’t think only about your own satisfaction, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Also, a new law has been introduced to crack down on voyeuristic recording, making it easier to take immediate legal action against someone who secretly films you. When people hear that it’s a new law, they may wonder, “Does that mean there were no laws before, so people could do whatever they wanted?” But that would be a misunderstanding. Until now, such acts were regulated under the ordinances of each prefecture. This time, a law applicable nationwide was introduced. So you no longer have to wonder whether it happened in Tokyo or Kanagawa—the person who made the recording can now be punished under Japanese law regardless of where it occurred. Apparently, the official name is quite long: “Act on Punishment of Acts of Photographing Sexual Images and Other Matters and Erasure of Electromagnetic Records of Sexual Images Recorded on Seized Articles.” If a man makes excuses such as, “I left the recording device there, but I didn’t actually film anything,” just go to the police right away. They’ll be able to determine whether it constitutes voyeuristic recording.

The names changed and the scope was expanded, but forcible sexual assault and quasi-forcible sexual assault had already existed. Before that, they were called rape and quasi-rape. Please understand that this isn’t something that only started today. You’re an adult, so I recommend developing the habit of thinking for yourself.

Easy! Just quit! “By forty, one should have no doubts,” Confucius said. Judging from the Analects, Confucius seems to have been relatively broad-minded, but I doubt he would forgive you, questioner. Start by reading the Analects. You’re asking this kind of mush-brained question because you haven’t read it.