Whenever I try to put on a condom during sex, I lose my erection. I’ve been told it’s largely psychological, and although I’ve seen a doctor and take ED medication, I still haven’t overcome it.
Having the woman put it on for me hasn’t helped much either. As for contraception, I’ve had a vasectomy, so the chances of pregnancy are virtually zero. I also get tested regularly for STIs.
As you know, vasectomy is said to be extremely effective, with a failure rate of about one-tenth that of the pill and one-two-hundredth that of condoms. I can confidently say there’s virtually no need to worry about pregnancy or infection, but it’s still difficult to get women to understand how reliable a vasectomy is. I also have documentation of my test results.
Even when I say, “I’ve had a vasectomy, so you don’t have to worry,” and try to proceed without a condom, I’m often refused.
I have a question for the women here.
When should I disclose this and ask to have sex without a condom so that she can understand the safety involved? And how should I phrase it so that she’ll understand?
- When making the offer, or by including it in my profile
- When discussing an adult relationship (intimate)
- After going to a hotel, before sex
- At the point of penetration
For men, the financial burden can vary greatly depending on when this is brought up. Women have time to consider it beforehand.
I’d appreciate hearing women’s opinions.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
You’re completely overlooking STIs.
Why not explain your views on STIs to the woman first, and then only have unprotected sex if she agrees to it?
You might find someone who’s comfortable with terms like, “I’ll only see you (and only have an adult relationship with you),” and “I’ll give you a generous allowance.”
Also, ED medication should generally get you fully erect. Why not try taking it after abstaining for about a month?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
There’s no proof he’s had a vasectomy, and having sex without a condom dramatically increases the risk of STIs in the first place.
T h a t ’ s w h y I d o n ’ t w a n t t o.
Please understand.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
“Don’t worry, I’ve had a vasectomy”—what are you, Kyosen Ōhashi? LOL
Unprotected sex does happen, but I think it’s probably too advanced for you, questioner.
There are ways to choose the right timing and wording, but fundamentally, that’s not the issue. First, get to the point where you can have sex with a woman you’ve called through a delivery-based escort service. Better yet, reach the level where, on a first meeting, you can have unprotected sex without obtaining any explicit agreement, and she says “Thanks” as she leaves—without you finishing inside. Once you can do that reliably rather than by chance, you might say you’re good at reading the atmosphere. Until then, don’t try this with ordinary women from a dating club. I think dating clubs are still too advanced for people who talk like they’re writing a dating guide for virgins.
If you lose your erection when putting on a condom, just put it on from the start. Japanese condoms are excellent; they won’t break just because you get an erection.
Or make an offer to an experienced woman and have her put it on for you while giving you oral sex. Women who are used to it are good at that. Then you can enter her in the cowgirl position and go, “Ahh♡ Ooh♡”
You have two choices: improve your ability to be considerate, or work on your skills somewhere more suited to you. The latter is probably the quicker route.
Taro
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
That’s a common concern among men.
That’s precisely why it’s something you need to work through yourself—it’s your own issue.
Even if you were able to have sex without a condom, you’d probably start focusing on other external factors, such as how the woman responds or the way she does certain things.
Ultimately, you want to have satisfying sex, right?
With a dating club, since an allowance is involved, various factors can help you build a good relationship and make it hundreds of times easier to reach a fulfilling sexual experience than through ordinary dating.
What I’m trying to say is this:
Before you even get to the point of putting on a condom, you should build a connection where the woman is highly aroused—from the communication that begins when you first meet her that day, through the way you spend your time together—and where you’re equally excited yourself. Ideally, you’ll reach a point where the condom no longer feels like an issue at all.
With a romantic partner, you can’t simply change the other person, and it can be difficult for both sides to make the effort to improve things. But with a dating club, you can consciously work toward fulfilling what you both want and enjoy a level of simulated romance and sex that may even surpass that of a romantic relationship.
After all, the woman wants her allowance, and the man wants a satisfying adult relationship (intimate). That’s why the key is to let things naturally develop into a mutually satisfying experience, without emphasizing those underlying motives.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If even ED medication doesn’t work, then you clearly have ED, so wouldn’t it be better to just give up?
Whether you can get hard without a condom doesn’t matter anymore.
This may sound cold, but if you can’t get hard, penetration is impossible. What’s wrong with accepting that?
You could switch to enjoying intimacy without penetration, or acknowledge that you’ve gone “dry” and live without sex.
If ED medication doesn’t work, please just give up. There weren’t even ED medications in the past, so all I can say is that you’re being far too unwilling to accept reality.
It’s a simple world: people who can get hard without medication—or can get hard with medication—have sex. Those who can’t should give up.
That said, there seem to be some adult-entertainment venues where condoms aren’t required, so you don’t necessarily have to give up.
You’re simply looking in the wrong place.
Just go somewhere that suits you. If you visit an adult-entertainment venue that allows sex without a condom, you may still be able to enjoy yourself.
Still, I really don’t understand why you keep asking people who are uncomfortable with it, or why you assume that your way of thinking is correct and that the other person just doesn’t understand.
You’ll never find anyone if you don’t give up that self-centered attitude.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Even if she asks, some things are still a no-go.
Even if you manage to convince her that she would absolutely be the only woman, whether she accepts it is entirely up to her. Personally, none of the situations you mentioned would be acceptable to me—I’d decline the relationship altogether.
Why not try things as they are for about six months, treating her well with a sufficient allowance and plenty of consideration whether things work out or not, and then bring up the vasectomy issue? Of course, during that time, any other offers would be completely out of the question.
And if that leads to you parting ways, so be it.
Please don’t compare that level of financial burden with what you’re asking the woman to endure by going without protection.
Marika
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
