I’m a university student considering papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with the goal of eventually opening tea ceremony and flower arrangement classes.

Thank you for your question! You have a clear dream of opening tea ceremony and flower arrangement classes, and you’re seriously thinking about the initial costs as a means of making that dream happen. You also have the initiative to seek advice in a place like this rather than simply thinking about it on your own. At the same time, there are aspects you find instinctively off-putting, and you’re concerned about risks such as losing your sense of money. I can say with confidence that women like you—serious, proactive, intelligent, and aware of the risks—are the ones best suited to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). So once you’ve sorted out your feelings, I recommend going to the interview. However, what concerns me is what happens afterward. I’m worried that you may not be thinking much about the possibility of failing the interview, not receiving any offers, not being invited into an adult relationship (intimate), or even that your business could collapse almost instantly if you simply use the money you save to open it. You seem to be looking at this entirely from the perspective of being the one who gets to choose—the one who is in the right. Communication and business won’t go smoothly with that attitude. You don’t need to worry; you probably won’t receive that many offers anyway. Isn’t that exactly why it’s worth giving it a try? Also, this probably comes down to personal sensibilities, but my parents were 20 years apart in age, and I was born when my father was 60. Did you think, “A 60-year-old grandpa? Gross”? That’s really none of your business. You don’t know what situation your friend’s father is in—whether they’re in love, just having fun, involved in papa-katsu, or simply happened to come out with a part-time female employee from the love hotel he manages. You don’t mind that flowers blooming vibrantly in the earth are cut, chopped up, and thrown away after about three days, so don’t worry about other people going to hotels or Ryoko Hirosue having an affair.

If something that minor is enough to shake your resolve, you’re not cut out for business. Get a regular job or become a homemaker. You need to devise a strategy, get these older guys to spend every last penny, save at least tens of millions of yen through sheer determination, and work your hardest—then maybe you’ll have a 20% chance of succeeding.

I recently found out that someone whose goal is to open her own tea ceremony and flower arrangement classes is considering papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). It came as quite a shock. Of course, I haven’t told any friends or anyone else, but if I learned that my tea ceremony or flower arrangement teacher was seeing a man around my age behind my back, I think I’d feel deeply saddened and helpless. Opening a class costs money, so I understand that she may want to enter into an arrangement with a man and be intimate with him if she happens to meet someone she can trust. Even so, I’m still very shocked and conflicted about it. Answer I understand that papa-katsu isn’t easy, comes with various risks, and may involve an adult relationship (intimate). At times, depending on the circumstances, you may even receive more money than you would earn as a salaried employee. Whether it’s a good idea to do papa-katsu for a certain period of time in order to achieve your future goals—while keeping your sense of money grounded and fully understanding that it’s money earned through papa-katsu, not income you worked for yourself—is something other people can’t decide for you. If you truly believe you’re a serious, responsible person, you probably wouldn’t be considering this in the first place. And there’s no point in asking whether it suits you and merely pretending to be serious.

Your friend’s father might have been teaching a young woman tea ceremony and flower arranging at a love hotel. But even if we give you the benefit of the doubt and assume they were having sex, why did you assume it was papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) rather than an affair? Isn’t it possible you jumped to that conclusion because the questioner’s mind is completely consumed by papa-katsu? P.S. Sorry, let me put that a little differently. Tea ceremony and flower arranging are basically just drinking tea and arranging flowers, so calling them “paths” is rather presumptuous. That wording would make the questioner angry, right? The same can be said of the path of papa-katsu. I’m an explorer, at least—I want to see what lies at the end of this path, all the way to the subtleties of relationships between men and women and the depths of sex. You’re taking papa-katsu too lightly. You probably think it’s just a matter of spreading your legs and having older men come over with money. Please don’t step through the gates of papa-katsu with such a shallow attitude. That friend’s father and the young woman are fighting. In a ring that transcends generations. The greater the age gap, the harder it is to communicate. The real contest is figuring out how to land your technique on the other person and bring them down. It’s a battle to see who can get the other by the neck. Well, I suppose someone who’s never done it wouldn’t understand. That’s why it’s the path of papa-katsu. There’s something beyond sexual desire there. Just as an entire universe stretches out beyond the tea ceremony, an equally vast universe lies beyond papa-katsu. That’s why it’s called Universe Club. Didn’t know that, did you? I just found out myself.

Someone planning to open a tea ceremony school probably shouldn’t be walking around the love hotel district in Gotanda. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing but love hotels around that area along the tracks, so what do you think she was doing there? lol It’s true that things like that do happen to some extent in this world, but at this point, the idea that your father might be doing it is nothing more than your own speculation. Finding out that it was actually true might be shocking, but that’s completely separate from whether you choose to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). It’s something that could happen with exactly the same likelihood even if you never did papa-katsu. If your goal is to raise enough money to open a school and you’re hoping to meet someone you can trust, I think an exclusive dating club is certainly worth considering. I used to date a woman in that situation, and I stayed in touch until she successfully opened her business and got it on track. Her sense of money never became distorted at all. I do think that, because it wasn’t money she had painstakingly saved herself, she felt able to spend it decisively. Whenever necessary, she made decisions to spend several hundred thousand yen without hesitation and opened her business by the shortest possible route. I gave her advice and helped out a little until things got on track. That happened naturally since we met every week and talked about all kinds of things. She used to like working at Starbucks, but after opening her business, she stopped completely, saying, “That’s a loss-making expense.” It was only a few hundred yen, but I thought it was good that she maintained that sense of discipline. Her business began growing not long after opening, and I think that kind of financial awareness was part of the reason. I suppose it depends on the person, but someone who is serious about their goals probably won’t lose sight of them. Your partner may be around your parents’ age, but wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could build a relationship where they supported you in various ways, including financially, and you were able to achieve your dream? Even if you eventually found out that your father was doing something like that, you might be able to take it differently than you would now. Taro

I think it’s impossible for someone who isn’t suited to it. That said, > Since opening a classroom would require money, if I happen to meet someone I can truly trust, many women from dating clubs—and others as well—have opened their own businesses. If she’s only thinking in terms of > a certain period of time, then the relationship can’t develop into that kind of deep, supportive connection. It’s only possible when both people feel that they’ve found a meaningful encounter and relationship that could last a lifetime.