I’m an office worker in my 20s and a member of ◯yama Dating Club. I’d appreciate your advice.
My papa has a wife and child, but when we started seeing each other, he told me:
“I have a wife (70) and a child (32), but I won’t cause you any trouble, so you don’t need to worry about anything.”
We began going out for meals and having an adult relationship (intimate). We meet about twice a month, and he gives me an allowance of around 100,000 yen per month, including meals.
The other day, when I met him, he said:
“I have to make sure my wife doesn’t notice from the movement of money.”
I knew from the beginning that he had a wife and child. We also haven’t been going to particularly expensive restaurants or hotels; even combined, the meals and hotel usually cost only around 10,000–20,000 yen.
When he says, “I have to make sure my wife doesn’t notice from the movement of money,” I take it to mean:
★ He doesn’t want his wife to know that I exist—or that he is seeing me.
But at the same time:
★ He wants to continue seeing me.
My question is: perhaps something has happened and he no longer has as much money to spare. However, even if that were what he was thinking, I feel that most people would avoid saying it directly to the woman they’re seeing. Am I thinking about this the wrong way?
(If I were the papa and were in the opposite position, I would think the woman might feel hurt or start worrying, so I don’t think I would say it out loud to her.)
Thank you very much for your advice.
P.S. ◯yama Dating Club requires members to agree not to register with any other dating clubs, so I am registered only with this one.
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> They may have run into some kind of circumstances and no longer have much money to spare.
> Still, even if that’s what I thought, I feel like I wouldn’t actually say it out loud to the woman. Am I wrong?
I think that’s generally the right way to look at it.
In my case, she sometimes asks me for extras, so I tell her:
“You’re dealing with a poor guy, so don’t ask for so much!
You should read the anonymous papa-katsu Q&A more often!”
And yet—maybe because I’ve never actually turned down one of her requests—she keeps asking at nice, regular intervals, like a chicken laying eggs.
I’ve been responding like a parrot for five years now（笑）
Anyway, just try to get along while paying attention to how things feel when you’re talking（笑）
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You’re with Aoyama Dating Club, right?
It really doesn’t matter which club you’re registered with.
He told me, “I have a wife (70) and a child (32), but I won’t cause you any trouble, so you don’t need to worry about anything.”
☆ Trouble? That’s a given, isn’t it...? Married men are nothing but trouble to worry about.
The other day, when I met my papa (a male supporter), he said, “I have to make sure my wife doesn’t notice anything from the flow of money.”
☆ “Make sure she doesn’t notice”? He’s stating the obvious again... What exactly is he trying to say? Maybe I should take it as meaning that, although we agreed on ¥100,000 a month, he’s started feeling reluctant to pay it.
You’re in your 20s—are there really no men besides those in their 70s who are willing to see you?
Why not switch to Universe? You might get offers from younger men there.
Even Ayase Nana dated a man in his late 30s for a while. (He had way too much energy, which was a problem.)
Anyway, keep your registration at Aoyama and come in for an interview at Universe. If you can’t register with Universe, you can always continue your activities quietly at Aoyama.
I’ll be waiting for you♡
☆ You’re very conscientious, aren’t you? Don’t you feel awkward going back?
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Are you perhaps from the “Osorezan Dating Club”?
I tried it once during a period when I was traveling a lot for work, but the woman kept asking me, “Should I call someone else?” over and over, which got rather tiresome. Apparently, the person I’d been offered was an itako—or rather, I wonder if they had any members who weren’t itako. In the end, I had her call my late grandmother, but it never developed into an adult relationship (intimate).
Now, to get to your actual question: I’m afraid I didn’t really understand it. You seem upset that he told you, “I have to make sure my wife doesn’t notice the movement of the money.” Was that statement actually related to you?
Had you perhaps risen to the point of managing this man’s financial transactions? If so, I would think he was simply telling you something he wanted you to take into consideration so the arrangement could proceed smoothly.
If the man himself is managing the money, then that’s something he should deal with, isn’t it? You could have just replied, “That sounds difficult. Please move the money without causing me any trouble and without letting your wife find out.”
If you’re bitter because he tried to negotiate down your allowance, are you thinking of using a straw doll to curse him? I just checked, and they sell them on Amazon for around ¥1,000. A four-piece set with a straw doll, five-inch nail, hammer, and work gloves costs ¥2,240. Amazon has everything these days (sigh). July 11–12 is Prime Day, so there may even be discounts.
Taro
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◯yama Dating Club member ← Do we really need that?
“You don’t have to worry about anything because I won’t cause you any trouble.” ← Being married is already a major risk, so the guy saying that is something else—but are you seriously taking him at his word? Is the person asking this question an idiot?
“I have to make sure my wife doesn’t notice from the flow of money.” ← What the hell is he even saying? “You don’t have to worry about anything” is bad enough, but the way he phrases things makes my skin crawl. It’s not just that he lacks consideration—he’s probably starting to lose it. That would explain why he feels so off. I’m amazed the questioner is even entertaining him. Maybe they don’t have any elderly people around them and find it novel?
“Even if he felt that way deep down, I don’t think he’d actually say it out loud to the woman.” ← Expecting a half-senile old man to manage something that complicated is impossible—and completely pointless, pointless, pointless lol. Instead of papa-katsu, the questioner should try working in elder care.
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I don’t understand why you would have a conversation about something like that.
The terms, meals, and hotel arrangements may vary, and people’s goals and what satisfies them will naturally differ.
That said, you both seem completely unsuited for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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Some people will say it, while others won’t. Even someone who usually wouldn’t might happen to say it depending on their mood.
In short, I don’t think there’s any point in reading too much into a single comment.
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