When I ask what kinds of places he used to go to with the girl he was seeing before me, he says they were high-end restaurants. But with me, he always takes me to restaurants or cafés where young couples celebrate birthdays. Does this mean he’s judged me to be only worth that much?

You might want to take it with a grain of salt. Maybe he took her past the upscale restaurants and settled somewhere popular with young couples celebrating birthdays—or at a café. I think it’s best to judge by the outcome rather than by what was said, haha. It may have been the result of seeing what was realistically within my means, but somehow I didn’t get that impression, haha. The reason is that if I were taking someone somewhere I’d never been before, I’d want to show her the place.

This is Higashino from the Umeda office! Thinking of it as the result of him “seeing you for what you’re worth” is rather negative, so why not look at it this way instead: your papa (a male supporter) wants to spend time with you in that kind of young-couple atmosphere. You may worry that making a request could come across as being “selfish,” but if it’s bothering you, why not tell him that you’d occasionally like to enjoy spending time together in a different kind of atmosphere?

I think it’s pretty common to choose different places to go and adjust the allowance depending on the person. Even after joining a company, people rarely all earn the same salary, and their assignments are usually different too. No matter how much someone may have wanted to be assigned to a particular department, it often doesn’t work out that way. Pay also usually varies based on a person’s abilities. If you suggest that everyone should receive the same salary based on seniority or age—with differences in ability reflected through evaluations—some people may still say they don’t want to pay someone with lower abilities the same amount. With that in mind, your partner may simply feel that the places you currently go to are the best fit for the two of you. Or perhaps they just don’t want to go to more upscale places. I think it would be fine to bring it up. They might take you somewhere nicer if you ask, and if you tell them you’d prefer to go to places like that from now on, they may accommodate you—assuming it’s true that they used to go to those kinds of places with their previous partner. For now, I think the most important thing is communicating with them.

Everything is about finding the right match. That man may simply not have been a good fit for women who enjoy going to upscale restaurants. It depends on the person whether the focus is more on the meals or on the allowance. If a woman is fine with eating anything, she probably won’t go to upscale restaurants very often. But if she’s genuinely interested in food and has specific tastes, it can be fun to care about what you eat and which restaurants you visit—not necessarily limited to upscale places. Honestly, going to high-end, hard-to-book, or carefully selected restaurants and truly enjoying the food works best with a woman who would visit those kinds of places even at her own expense. Then you can enjoy her reactions, opinions, and comparing different dishes. You can’t really enjoy that experience with someone who isn’t interested in food or can’t appreciate the flavors. If you just want to have a good time, I think it’s better to choose somewhere a little more luxurious than the places she normally goes. That way, she can appreciate the difference and enjoy it more.

In my case, it’s less about trying to impress her and more about choosing a restaurant that suits her. If she looks young, talks like a young person, has a loud voice, and always dresses casually, I might avoid high-end restaurants. It also depends on her preferences. Sometimes a woman will admit, “Honestly, I don’t really understand what makes high-end restaurants taste better,” and then I’ll focus on choosing somewhere she’ll feel comfortable. Just because I go to an inexpensive restaurant doesn’t mean I think less of her. If you feel like your worth is being judged by the restaurant’s level, isn’t that a misunderstanding? Still, everyone’s different, so why not ask him directly? Or you could try saying, “Take me to one of those fancy restaurants you used to go to with women you dated.” You might be pleasantly surprised by how much it makes his heart flutter, haha. Taro