> What do you—and the staff—think about this?
I think I’ve mentioned this several times before, but there are cases where a woman accused of being a “dating-type scammer” by one man later gets contacted by another man after their date, saying, “Thanks for introducing me to such a wonderful woman.”
(I’ve also heard that she went to a hotel with him.)
In other words, it wasn’t a scam—it simply didn’t work out with that particular man.
As for why men assume it was a scam:
There’s virtually no woman who would tell a man directly:
“Your face is too unattractive, so I’m not interested.”
“You smell bad, so I don’t like you.”
“I can’t stand your arrogant attitude.”
Instead, women try not to hurt the other person and use excuses such as:
“I’ve only ever done dinner-only dates so far…”
or
“I didn’t have the courage today. Would you invite me again next time?”
But then, if a woman with dating type C or D says “today,” the man thinks, “That’s strange. If she wasn’t willing to do it on the first date, she should have chosen type B. This must be a dating-type scam.”
Likewise, if a type-B woman says, “I’ve only ever had dinner with everyone so far,” the man thinks, “Then she’s not type B—she’s type A. This is a dating-type scam.”
That’s how it ends up being interpreted.
These things come down to compatibility. It’s perfectly normal to be turned down if you’re not the other person’s type or the terms don’t suit them.
If you really don’t want that to happen, perhaps you should put around ¥1 million right in front of her.
But being turned down after saying something like, “How about 30,000?” and then deciding that the other person was a scammer… I honestly don’t understand it.
That’s why, when you’re a staff member, you can often find out what happened with the other men as well. In some cases, she declined because the allowance offered was too low, or because the man didn’t offer an allowance at all.
There can be all sorts of reasons.
So I don’t automatically assume it was a scam just because a man says it was. However, a new staff member might simply believe what the man says.
> When a man gives feedback saying it was a dating-type scam, don’t you ever ask whether there might have been something wrong with him?
If that were possible, I feel like I might be the only person capable of doing it. It seems almost absurdly reckless.
A man looks through a large number of women, wondering, “Is it this one? Maybe this one? Or would she be better?”
After searching and searching, he finds a woman who is exactly his type and thinks, “I wouldn’t even mind paying ¥50,000 for the arrangement fee.”
Then he starts thinking about the date:
“What should I do that day?”
“What kind of food does she like?”
“Hm? It says she likes anything?”
“Does she really mean anything?”
“She probably has a favorite food. What should I do?”
“Maybe I should ask the staff to find out.”
“It sounds like she likes Italian food, if she had to choose?”
“Okay, Italian. Is there an Italian restaurant near the meeting place?”
“Maybe this one?”
“No, perhaps this one?”
“This place looks good. Let’s go with this.”
“What? They’re fully booked?”
“Can’t be helped. I’ll choose another restaurant.”
“Is this place okay?”
“Well, it can’t be helped. I’ll just go with this one.”
Then he starts thinking about how to get from there to a hotel.
“It’s a ten-minute walk.”
“It feels too close to take a taxi.”
“Would walking work?”
“She probably gets a lot of offers, so maybe other men take her by taxi?”
“If so, might she be put off if I only walk?”
“That would be a problem.”
He goes on the date while thinking through all these details, and when he invites her to a hotel, she says something like:
“Not today…”
At that point, the man thinks:
“What? What? What went wrong?”
Even if he asks for the reason, she’s not going to tell him the real one.
So he ends up thinking:
“Oh, she says she’s never been to a hotel before? What the hell, that’s a dating-type scam…”
Then, when he’s already feeling that way, most ordinary people probably can’t point out the truth about what he did wrong.
Even if you directly told him the reason, I suspect he would just say:
“The woman was the one at fault.”
“The staff member who agrees with me understands the situation. You don’t.”
And that would be the end of it.
> During the interview, do you properly explain to men that there is still a strong possibility of being turned down by the woman?
Yes, we explain that clearly.
However, more than 99% of men think, “That may be true for other people, but I’m different.”
They seem to assume that things will work out for them personally.
So even if you tell them, “With a type-C woman, there’s only about a 50% chance of going to a hotel”—though I don’t think we currently say 50%—when they’re turned down, they still wonder, “Why?”
Only when they’re told, “If you go on six dates, you’ll probably only make it to a hotel with three of them,” do they finally react with, “What?”
Some even say things like, “I’ve usually been able to go before…”
You just happened to end up with that kind of papa (a male supporter). It’s unfortunate for the woman, but there are always some people like that, so I’d just let him say whatever he wants.
You and the other women should also leave clear feedback, including specific details such as, “I declined because there was a lack of cleanliness in [that particular area].”
Eventually, women will dislike him and he won’t be able to maintain arrangements for long, so I think he’ll naturally be weeded out.
Let him bark all he wants, and wait for an offer from the next papa.
The only time I ever got angry enough to complain to Uni about “dating-type fraud” was with a woman who was Type C but said, “I’m not sure about doing that from the first meeting.”
If she had just said, “I’m sorry,” that would’ve been fine. But that excuse from someone listed as Type C? Come on.
Other than that, I’ve never felt anyone was committing dating-type fraud.
That said, she’s the only Type C woman who ever turned me down. As for the old Type B, maybe it was about half? By “half,” I mean intimacy happened on about half of the first dates.
It’s not like I’m breaking the rules and suggesting an adult relationship to Type B women. I’ll say, “Since you’re Type B, I guess I can’t ask from the first meeting,” and they’ll respond with something like, “That’s okay!”—and it works out.
To answer the easier question first: it was five years ago, so my memory of joining is a little hazy (lol), but I do remember that you must always be given transportation money, and that both people have the right to refuse, regardless of the type of arrangement.
I can’t say whether many men lose their temper when they’re turned down. I don’t think I’ve ever been rejected for a Type C or Type D arrangement (probably—I have turned someone down politely, though). If I were turned down by someone who was exactly my type, I’d probably be disappointed, and it might show on my face. The other person might even mistake that for anger.
I suspect there are women who misrepresent their type. Even if they do exist, though, it seems like an inefficient strategy. What do you think? My understanding is that even with a Type D arrangement, both people still have the right to refuse.
There may be members who weren’t told this when they joined, but if you’re a grown adult, it should be obvious, right?
Sorry.
