I’ve been registered for about three years, but even after reading countless posts here, I still haven’t figured out the right distance to keep with my papas...
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Maybe it’s because there are two types: men who approach it like a paid service, and men who approach it like a romantic relationship.
Whenever I meet either type of papa, I find it difficult to adjust how I interact with them.
For example, one papa broke things off with his previous PJ because he was genuinely starting to fall for her. With me, he always wants unlimited-time dates, treating them like we’re in a romantic relationship.
I’d really appreciate any advice. Thank you (;_;)
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Wouldn’t it be better to date a papa (a male supporter) you’re compatible with?
Having no time limit sounds exhausting.
You’re doing great, but don’t you think it might be better to end things?
It seems so extreme—like the alternatives are sex work or genuinely falling in love. But there are also papas who can maintain an appropriate distance in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
Still, I feel like these model papas probably make up only about 20% of the total. If you find one, make sure to treat him well.
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I think the answer is not reading the Q&A box.
Once you become comfortable with not reading it, things might start to change.
Men tend to prefer women who don’t read Q&A boxes—women who don’t even notice them or care about them, and who come across as inexperienced.
The more you try to categorize things and increase the number of simultaneous relationships, the farther you move from seeming inexperienced.
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The fact that you’re thinking in terms of separating things into categories already suggests that you have a mindset closer to the sex-industry side of things.
People with that mindset tend to focus on value for money, so you may not be a good match for a papa (a male supporter) who expects unlimited time together.
You might be fine with unlimited time if the allowance makes it worthwhile, but I’m guessing that probably isn’t the case.
I want to enjoy adult relationships (intimate) like a sport, so I don’t fit into either of the two types you described.
For me to enjoy myself, it’s important that I make the woman enjoy herself too, so the time together is usually around the length set by the club.
However, if I feel that the woman is only seeing me with a sex-industry mindset, I’ll say goodbye right away.
There are all kinds of papas, so in the end, it comes down to whether you can adapt to the person you’re seeing—and what you yourself really want.
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There’s no way men can be divided into just two types.
For example, I don’t approach papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) like a transactional service, nor do I treat it like a romantic relationship.
Trying to figure out how close to get to men—or classify them into just two types—by reading Q&A posts is probably too simplistic, and may be why things don’t work out.
It’s better to observe the person, find a comfortable level of distance with them, or guide the relationship toward a distance that feels comfortable for you.
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It wasn’t entirely clear which part was the question, but I felt that this was probably the main point:
> I still haven’t figured out the right distance to keep with my papa...
So I edited out the other parts.
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