Looking through past questions and columns, I often see people referring to having a “contract” with women. What does that actually involve?
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I’m currently seeing—and have seen in the past—several women, but I’ve never been involved with anyone under anything I’d call a contract.
Since I provide an allowance on a pay-per-meeting basis, I suppose you could call it a per-meeting rate agreement. But aside from discussing the terms at the beginning, we don’t set anything in detail. As for how often we meet, it’s anywhere from once a week to once a month, depending on when our schedules line up.
The women say they’d like to meet as often as possible, but with my schedule, it’s difficult to set anything in stone. (I do try to keep the number of meetings roughly consistent each month.)
From the woman’s perspective, would having a proper agreement—with the terms, frequency, boundaries, and so on—make her feel more secure? If so, I’d be willing to consider it.
I’m asking for future reference.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
In my case, there isn’t a formal written contract. It’s more of an agreement on the terms of the arrangement that I present when making an offer（笑）. I tell them to decline the offer if they can’t agree to the terms, so we go over everything over a meal at our first meeting.
I’ve mentioned this many times in this papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) Q&A box, but the terms include daily communication of at least one exchange, two dates per month (roughly every other week), the maximum monthly allowance, the maximum number of people each of us can be seeing at the same time, how each of us views the relationship, and the woman’s requests.
We discuss all of this over dinner, and if we can both agree, we start the relationship from the next meeting onward.
I’ve been seeing my current partner for five years, and we still maintain the relationship according to the terms we agreed on at the beginning.
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They’re simply referring to a verbal promise as a “contract.”
In the first place, a mistress arrangement isn’t legally valid, so when people talk about a “contract” in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), they’re speaking metaphorically. It’s really just a firm promise.
If you misunderstand this and actually use the word “contract” with a woman, she’ll probably be put off, thinking, “Wow, this guy is really trying hard to tie me down.” You’re better off avoiding it.
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A contract is, by definition, an agreement between the parties.
There’s no single specific way to define it; as long as both parties’ intentions align, you can say a contract has been formed.
Some people want to set a frequency, while others don’t. Sometimes you may want the frequency decided for you, and other times you may not.
Setting a frequency and meeting as often as possible aren’t necessarily the same thing.
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