Is a failed match at the club always the woman’s fault?

〈Are women the reason arrangements at the salon fall through? As for you, judging from the way you phrased your question, I think that’s quite possibly the case. Are you aware of it?〉

That’s just my impression. If you have an issue, you should probably email the club directly. The club only makes money when a match is successfully arranged; if it doesn’t work out, they earn nothing and are left with the time and effort involved. So there’s no reason for the club to deliberately do something disadvantageous to the woman. Rather than blaming the staff member in charge, it’s more reasonable to assume the problem was with you. If you’re unhappy with how the club handled things, you could leave and try another dating club. That said, people who blame others and never reflect on their own actions won’t change, so hopefully this doesn’t just turn into a repeat of the same thing... Incidentally, an unsuccessful match simply comes down to whether or not you click. One of the good things about these clubs is that women are also free to turn someone down.

It feels like this post is just an attempt to personally attack someone. Please do that somewhere else. This is a Q&A site, so it’s for asking questions. Personal attacks aren’t supposed to be shown, even when they involve staff, but since there are already answers, I’ve made some partial edits—specifically, the parts that could identify the staff member. > Is the woman to blame when an arrangement at the salon doesn’t work out? The staff are responsible. More precisely, it’s the staff’s job to choose the woman who will meet that man. Since they chose you even though you weren’t his type, the staff are responsible. In that sense, if you stopped receiving offers afterward, perhaps the staff concluded that there currently aren’t any men at the SALON who would be a good match for you. Maybe their judgment has improved as a result. I don’t think it’s appropriate for staff to say something that harsh to a woman. But, looking at it another way, it may also have been the flip side of their high expectations—that they believed you could get along with any man and would surely make the arrangement work. It’s also possible that the man said something like, “If that conversation hadn’t happened, I would have gone on a date with you afterward.” If so, the staff may have thought, “It could have worked out if she hadn’t brought that up—why did she say it?” Of course, the staff member who chose you was 100% at fault, so they shouldn’t have complained to you about it. Still, I think it’s possible that their expectations were high, and their disappointment was equally great. To begin with, staff approach women they believe will be a good fit. That’s a major difference between the SALON and Universe. (With Universe, men choose women and make offers, so offers may come in after registration even without the staff doing anything. And when staff recommend someone to a man, he looks at her photos and decides for himself whether she’s his type before making an offer.)

Generally, I think it’s usually a matching issue rather than the woman’s fault. But in this case, it seems to me that the problem is you, for going on and on so bitterly in the question box. I always go, because I’d feel bad for the woman who went out of her way to come and for the staff who arranged the meeting. I can’t imagine simply calling it off.

It’s unfortunate that the arrangement didn’t work out. I suppose that after meeting in person, he felt you weren’t quite the kind of partner he was looking for. One of the realities of these clubs is that you never know until you actually meet, so this can naturally happen. Since the club is probably run on the membership fees paid by men, I feel the direct cause was that they weren’t able to introduce someone who matched what he was looking for. Your coordinator is probably holding back on making another introduction so it doesn’t end unsuccessfully again. This is fairly common at dating clubs, so I don’t think you should feel too discouraged.