I was upset because the man I’m seeing kept messaging me “adult, adult, adult, adult” over and over, without considering my wishes at all—such as what kind of dates I wanted or how I wanted things to progress—and even booked a hotel without asking.

Haha（笑） That male member sounds really eager（笑） Though, to be honest, so am I（笑） Still, going into full-on mode right from the start（笑） As you said, even if an adult relationship (intimate) is on the table, you should first talk through how the arrangement will work. I don’t think there are that many members who come on that strong from the beginning, but I wonder what it’s actually like in practice. As Kazu says, even with an allowance involved, it’s still a relationship—so you should date someone you feel you could genuinely get along with.

Papas who are that open about wanting to get intimate, as you said, quickly get blocked, so I don’t understand why they don’t realize they’re only making it harder for themselves to have a good experience. Their feedback will suffer too. You may see more of that with papas you meet through apps or websites. It would be nice to get an offer from a gentleman papa who treats you properly as a woman, but… that really comes down to luck.

A wonderful woman will be cherished, and even an ordinary man will treat her well. But when it comes to meeting people, does that mean more than half the men will be overweight? Is it luck? Or does it depend on you? Only God knows??

What do you mean, “the woman made the offer”? It sounds like you simply weren’t a good match with that man on a deeper level. What women want to do differs from woman to woman, and I’ve also heard that the kinds of dates men want vary from person to person. Of course, there seem to be plenty of men who repeatedly do dinner followed by a hotel visit. I have someone I see regularly in that way too, but with other women, I travel, visit ramen shops all over the place, go to lifestyle clubs, and enjoy all kinds of activities when we share the same interests. Personally, the women I repeatedly see for dinner followed by a hotel visit are those with whom I don’t have much in common or share many interests, and sex was the only thing I enjoyed about being with them. Usually, those relationships end within a few months. As an exception, I do have one partner who doesn’t like going out much because she worries about being seen by friends or acquaintances. We sometimes go farther afield for dates, such as golfing or visiting outlet malls, but locally we eat, chat, and have sex in a hotel room. She’s fun to talk to, and we’ve been seeing each other for years. Even when an allowance is involved, it’s still a relationship, so I think compatibility between two people is the foundation. There’s no need to force compatibility. If you don’t click, you can consider seeing someone else. It’s just like choosing a boyfriend. P.S. I consider chatting over a meal a date too, but does this mean you don’t even eat or have coffee together, and it’s just sex at a hotel?

Looks like someone has finally started using this as a blog. (People have written posts expressing their opinions before, but this one felt a little more blog-like.) First of all, you’ve already written the conclusion here: > I’m thinking of ending things with this person. I think that’s exactly what you should do. This isn’t a job—it’s a free romantic relationship. If you feel you’re not compatible, you simply don’t have to continue seeing him. > Is that common? There’s no way to know whether it’s common or not. Also, men who date multiple women may adjust the nature of each relationship depending on the person, such as: - She’s fun to go on dinner dates with, so we only do dinner dates. - She’s amazing when it comes to intimacy, so we only meet at hotels. - She has both qualities, so we do dinner and hotel dates. So whether it’s common or uncommon, your course of action can stay the same: Only date people you actually want to date. That’s all there is to it. If you’ve received offers, you’ll probably start to get a sense of what kinds of men tend to approach you. > I want to change how I approach things when I make offers in the future. I’m not quite sure how you plan to change your approach when making offers. You might discuss the kind of relationship you’re looking for on the first date, or try to determine what kind of relationship the other person wants. Either way, the basic principle is to date only the people you actually want to date.