Hello,

Since most male members of dating clubs, myself included, are older, I feel that more and more of the women registering are older as well. I’m not someone who makes many offers, but when choosing candidates, I’ve generally ended up making an offer to the younger one out of several options. That said, after dealing with suspicions of “dating-type fraud” and various other issues, I eventually became close with someone introduced to me by the club’s entertainment division. There was more than a 40-year age gap between us. When you consider this is allowance-based dating, I think men who seek the calmness and comfort that younger women don’t offer are in the minority, so there probably aren’t actually that many offers. As long as you can continue receiving offers, even if they’re few, there’s no problem. I think it would be best to keep that in mind as you go about things.

Why not ask the club? I only know about this one dating club, but if you search Google for dating clubs, you should find several options. If a dating club doesn’t work for you, why not try papa-katsu through an app or website?

I feel this is partly the fault of men, but in Japan, women in their 40s and older—and sometimes even women in their 30s—are often treated as “old hags.” Perhaps because of that, many of the wonderful female members at Universe who are in their 40s or older seem lacking in confidence, and at times even somewhat self-deprecating. It’s a shame. Your wording is polite and humble, but I find myself shouting inwardly, “Promote yourself with more confidence!” (Only inwardly, of course.) I even think that humility can sometimes be a disadvantage for women in their 40s, who have so much life experience. Women who are confident and proud of themselves without becoming arrogant are attractive at any age. Personally, I find that when they also possess the experience that comes with age, they shine even more. I’m guessing that you, too, are an attractive woman whose charm is backed by experience. Let’s have a little more confidence! I’ve made offers to several women in their late 40s in the past, and every one of them was wonderful. Unfortunately, they all lost interest because of the way I behaved—what a shame (sob). Please continue to guide lost? men in their 50s like me. My wallet is a little thicker than it was a few years ago, and I think my manners have improved a bit, too.

① Universe focuses on appearance rather than age, while also considering personality, so you can still register. That said, as people get older, fewer tend to have conventionally attractive looks, so the chances of being rejected increase. Even so, age alone doesn’t automatically disqualify you. The official website says: “Applicants must be between 18 and 45 years old.” I believe this is stated because once someone is over 45, the likelihood of being rejected based on appearance increases. In the past, there was no upper age limit listed, and I don’t think interview staff were instructed to enforce one either. If the staff believe a woman is likely to receive offers, she may still be registered even if she is over 45. Does SALON have an age limit? Only women aged 20 or older may register. There is no upper age limit. https://www.universe-group.jp/portal/ja/kb/articles/salon%E3%81%AB%E3%81%AF%E5%B9%B4%E9%BD%A2%E5%88%B6%E9%99%90%E3%81%8C%E3%81%82%E3%82%8A%E3%81%BE%E3%81%99%E3%81%8B ② I’m not sure what age range you have in mind when you say “young women,” but men like that tend to make offers to women around 30. Unlike dating apps, Universe receives quite a lot of offers for women around 30. The reason may be what you mentioned in your question. ③ That would be Universe Club. Whether you pass depends on your own appeal. (Conversely, some people around 20 are rejected as well.)

Just as Taro wrote, these days it seems that almost everyone is accepted, even women approaching 60. To an 80-year-old man, a woman in her 50s would still be about 30 years younger. I think the fact that women can still be sought after by men at any age hasn’t changed, either now or in the past. Even I have absolutely no idea who will receive an offer, so the club staff—being younger than me—probably have even less of an idea. Given that, it seems better to let them stay registered. Whether they’re Type A women, women in their late 40s, or around 60, if there’s no problem with keeping them registered, I don’t think it’s a bad idea to leave them on the books in case an offer comes in and makes them happy.

It’s really not a problem at all. I just checked, and there are more than 600 female members aged 40 and up. With men in their 60s or 70s, you’d be 20–30 years younger, so I think they’d still see you as a relatively young woman. A fair number of men seem to prefer a calm, mature woman over someone in her 20s or 30s overflowing with youth, so 45 and up could actually be a good fit. There are also clubs besides Universe with plenty of members in their 40s and older. It’s not that rare. If you feel you’re attractive even among women your own age, there’s no reason to hesitate. Let’s head to the interview—trio style! Taro