A papa (a male supporter) who skimps on the allowance
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The papa (a male supporter) I met here initially offered 50,000 yen himself, but every time he tries to bargain it down to around 30,000–40,000 yen, saying, “Would this be okay just for today…?” It’s emotionally exhausting.
I’d prefer to receive the allowance upfront, but basically no one gives it to me beforehand—everyone pays afterward. I hate that p’s pay afterward when services at adult establishments are paid upfront.
Maybe papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) just isn’t for me?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
If you don’t like it, maybe you should be the one to end things and find a new papa to date.
Once you’ve built a relationship of trust and know you’ll definitely receive your allowance, I don’t think it really matters whether you get it before or afterward. Why would you dislike it when you’re still going to be paid?
You may be giving off a somewhat escort-like, purely transactional vibe.
I feel like you can only haggle with someone you don’t mind losing or breaking up with. If you don’t want to end things, you wouldn’t try to negotiate them down.
Maybe you’re better suited to working in the adult entertainment industry than papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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Although relationships through a dating club usually don’t involve a written contract, I consider them contractual arrangements, so naturally you want the other person to honor the agreed terms. I completely understand that feeling.
Generally, I think male members will end the relationship and look for someone else if they feel the allowance isn’t justified. In that sense, you could also view the allowance he’s trying to negotiate down as the compromise point for continuing the relationship.
I’m also in favor of reducing allowances, but I do feel that the originally agreed allowance should be honored for at least the first three years of the relationship（笑）. Try discussing the allowance with him.
Once you’ve discussed it and reached an agreement, it shouldn’t matter whether you receive the allowance upfront or afterward. If you can’t continue the relationship at that allowance, I think you’re also free to end it.
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Worrying about money or constantly talking about it doesn’t suit dating—not just papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
That kind of attitude is better suited to work in the adult entertainment industry.
Even with a future spouse or romantic partner, without ever having to discuss it, you may end up receiving jewelry and other valuables, as well as cars, houses, land, or tens of millions of yen or more.
If the relationship is progressing for both people, money is a relatively minor consideration for either side. It’s something that comes along as a result.
As Kazu mentioned, perhaps people like that are simply drawn to one another.
All I can do is marvel at how they manage to stay together.
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Anyone who thinks in terms of “paying” or compares this to the sex industry probably isn’t suited to this kind of arrangement.
You might actually get better results by working in the sex industry instead.
As an aside, I also don’t think men who try to negotiate the allowance down each time are suited to dating-club relationships. I can’t help thinking that people who aren’t suited for this may end up pairing off with others like them, compromising with each other along the way.
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