A young papa in his 30s whom I met through the club has genuinely fallen for me and is asking me to marry him. I haven’t been able to tell him that I’ve actually had a boyfriend from the very beginning.
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At first, we met for an adult relationship (intimate), but I couldn’t see him as a man that way. Since he genuinely liked me, I felt guilty and wasn’t comfortable continuing, so I turned him down. However, he asked if we could at least meet for dinner only (no intimacy), and that continued for about a year and a half.
Even when I ignored him for several months, he kept contacting me.
Should I properly tell him that we can’t meet anymore instead of fading out?…
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
If you feel that being with this person brings you peace of mind and that you don’t have to be overly concerned about how you act, I’d recommend taking things to the next level.
To be honest, Ayase Nana is also having trouble because someone likes me a little too much. After getting divorced, I felt free and thought I was probably done with marriage, but… the nonstop declarations of affection are intense. In my case, the fact that I feel calm when we’re together and don’t have to worry about being overly considerate is what’s making me waver.
Of course, he’s also asked me to quit, so I’ve hidden his profile.
Looking at it in the long term, am I the only one who thinks that if I married this papa (a male supporter), and it meant stability in terms of daily life and work—a real step up in life—then I might as well go for it?
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I’m still being stalked to this day…
You should cut things off as soon as possible.
I told him plenty of harsh things that would normally make someone give up, such as:
“I have a husband. I actually work at a soapland, too. I’m really an awful person, and I hate you as well. If you come any closer, I’ll call the police.”
But he just said, “I don’t care! I’ll pay you as much as you want! Go ahead and call the police!” Then he sat down in front of the shop and threw a tantrum.
He still follows me around, so you should clearly turn someone down as soon as possible—before things get that far.
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In my case, relationships through a dating club are contractual, so I can’t imagine ending up in a situation like yours.
In this case, rather than simply fading out, I think it’s best to turn him down politely and then ignore any unread messages afterward.
There are crazies everywhere. If you ever feel that your safety is at risk, go to the police.
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Regardless of whether you met through Universe, there are probably many different ways and patterns when it comes to ending a relationship between a man and a woman.
Based on the question, I think your mistake was continuing to meet him while saying it was dinner only, even though you didn’t have feelings for him. That likely caused his feelings to keep building until they eventually exploded.
One option is to send a brief email declining any further meetings and ending things—the brevity is important—but that could also make his feelings flare up even more. I can’t say whether fading out is the best approach when things have already become this complicated. However, you must not see him again. Based on my own limited experience, I believe that’s the golden rule.
The final decision is yours, but please also consider what you would do if he became a stalker. If there seems to be a risk of actual harm, consider consulting the police or a lawyer.
Don’t forget to have the courage to make yourself the bad guy, and face this with determination.
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> He kept contacting me even when I ignored him for several months.
Men like that probably won’t understand, no matter how clearly you explain things to them.
Also, no matter what you write back, they may twist it into whatever interpretation suits them—or even take it in the exact opposite way.
It seems like the only option is to keep ignoring him and never reply.
Even if he keeps contacting you for years, you’ll just have to continue ignoring him.
Based on what other girls have told me, as long as they keep ignoring him completely, he eventually stops doing things like waiting for them or showing up at their homes, and doesn’t take any more bold actions. But if they reply or engage with him even a little, they end up being shocked by what he does.
Even if you try to resolve things somehow, they probably won’t turn out as expected, so I think it’s best not to react at all.
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If your reasons for signing up with Universe are that completely different, you have no choice but to be upfront about it.
“I’m a sugar baby. I’m not looking for a genuine romantic relationship or marriage—100%.”
That’s more important to communicate than whether you have a boyfriend.
— It’s me
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I don’t know what will happen if you say it, or what will happen if you don’t. Why not make your own decision and deal with the consequences yourself? That’s what I believe a responsible adult does.
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