If someone I’ve added to my favorites sends me a “You seem wonderful,” I’ll make an offer right away. But when I don’t get one back, I start to feel like they’re saying, “Please don’t make me an offer,” so I hesitate.
Conversely, if someone sends me a “You seem wonderful” first but I don’t add them to my favorites, they can take it as, “I’m not interested in you.”
I’d appreciate hearing the opinions of more experienced members and coordinators.
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That’s great, but did you get a notification when he added you?
You didn’t, right?
Favoriting a woman doesn’t trigger a notification, so she won’t know. If you’re interested, why not just make her an offer?
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When you don’t get a reply saying, “You’re lovely,”
> “It means they don’t want to make me an offer.”
That’s your interpretation.
Conversely, even if someone says, “You’re lovely,” first, but doesn’t add you to their favorites, you’re welcome to take it as:
> “I’m not interested in you.”
But it’s not the questioner who gets to decide how to interpret this—it’s the other person.
Interpretation and fact are two completely different things.
Simply reducing assumptions and information gaps can improve your chances of success.
If you make a habit of checking and verifying whether your interpretation is actually true, I think your chances of success with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) will improve too.
It’s me.
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“Nice profile” doesn’t seem to be very effective, so I imagine many women simply don’t use it or check it.
Another possibility is that women you’ve added to your favorites already receive plenty of offers, so they have no problem even without sending “Nice profile” messages.
I also get a huge number of “Nice profile” messages, even though none come from the women I’ve added to my favorites. It became a hassle, so I stopped making my profile public.
I’ve gone back to the simple approach of making offers only to people I’m interested in.
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If that approach works for you, I don’t see anything wrong with doing it that way.
When you add someone to your favorites, most women will send you a “Nice profile,” so you could choose from among them as well. If someone doesn’t respond, it’s probably because she’s receiving a lot of offers, isn’t logging in, or simply isn’t very proactive—not because there’s anything wrong with you.
> Kazu,
Comments and photos seem to be a fairly high hurdle for women, and many don’t feel confident enough to post them. Checking their favorites or sending a “Nice profile” is easier and can be done right away.
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When asking a question, it would be helpful if you could clearly state what you want to know, rather than rambling like an inexperienced young employee who doesn’t even know what they’re asking.
Have you considered that not all female members regularly check the members-only page for women?
I think women who check the men who have added them to their favorites or regularly send “You look great” messages are in the minority compared with women who post comments or update their profile photos.
So in my opinion, you’re simply being overly self-conscious.
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