I met a B-type female college student PJ for dinner twice, and she had said herself that she wanted an adult relationship (intimate), but then she blocked me on LINE. What kind of change of heart could this be?
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I made her an offer, and both times we met briefly for dinner.
Two weeks ago, she contacted me saying she was short on money and wanted to meet for an adult relationship (intimate). We discussed the terms (of the arrangement) on LINE and agreed on them, but since we couldn’t meet until two weeks later, she said that wouldn’t work for her. So I asked for her bank account details and sent the money in advance.
We were supposed to meet yesterday, but late the night before, she suddenly messaged me saying, “I’ll refund the money, so I’d like to cancel tomorrow.” When I asked why, she said she wasn’t feeling well. I replied, “I’ll give you my bank details just in case, but if the wait isn’t too long, you don’t have to refund it—we can just reschedule for another day.” After that, she blocked me on LINE.
Since she did refund the full amount, it wasn’t a scam, but I’m disappointed because I really liked her. The allowance was also higher than the going rate. What kind of change of heart do you think happened during those two weeks?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
The fact that she’s willing to pay you back shows she’s a pretty responsible college student.
Maybe she just didn’t want to be with an older guy after all.
There are plenty of other women who’ll accept you. Forget about her and move on.
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All the answers have pretty much been given already.
Rather than spending your time and mental energy on something that’s already over, I think you’ll have better luck moving on and looking for someone new.
There are plenty of wonderful female members whose values align with yours. Let’s find the next one!
It’s me.
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It’s not really about her changing her mind. If you think about it normally, a college woman who can casually go to a hotel with an older man is the one who’s unusual—whether that’s good or bad—so you don’t need to overthink it.
I didn’t do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) when I was in college, but when I started, I think I was pretty unusual too. Still, thanks to it, I met my current generous (well-paying) papa (a male supporter), and it changed my life, so I don’t regret it.
To put it another way, if your own daughter were constantly going to hotels with older men, you’d definitely hate it, right? It’s probably best not to lose sight of that feeling.
This may sound strange, but ironically, I think that’s what ultimately makes women like you. Most of the popular men in their 40s and 50s around me are that type.
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The most likely explanation is that she met a man who offered better terms, making yours look disappointing by comparison.
Apparently, some people on matching apps will casually offer ¥200,000 at the first meeting, so you shouldn’t assume your terms are particularly generous.
When it comes to the average allowance, Universe Club may offer more, and you may also be less likely to be stood up or scammed there. But in any setting, there are papas who are willing to pay generously right away.
Once she met someone like that, she had no reason to keep seeing you. She should simply have returned your money properly and ended things.
In other words, I think your allowance was just too low.
As I’ve said before, even though money isn’t everything, the allowance amount is still important.
If you like someone so much that you’d be upset if things didn’t work out, you should offer a little more from the start.
I think it’s best to carefully consider the maximum allowance you can afford, and set it at an amount you can accept losing—so that even if she turns you down despite your generous offer, you can tell yourself it couldn’t be helped.
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〉The full amount was transferred, so it wasn’t a scam, but it’s still disappointing since I really liked her.
You certainly have an eye for the women you choose.
I thought she might block you without sending the money.
Well, I guess your appeal was just a little lacking（笑）
That’s unfortunate.
But don’t worry.
You have good judgment, so try making another offer!
Maybe you should go for a woman who’s a little more on your level.
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I don’t know the real reason.
However, there is a problem when a grown man lets himself be tossed around by a young woman’s decisions and immediately posts about it on a Q&A board.
I completely understand how you feel, but I’d like to encourage you to pull yourself together.
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There could be any number of reasons, so we really can’t know for sure.
If I had to guess:
- Her parents found out
- Her boyfriend found out
- She decided she no longer wanted to have sex with you
- She realized she couldn’t continue with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)
- She found another papa (a male supporter) with better terms
- She got married or became busy with work
- She got sick or was in an accident
The fact that you got a refund is practically a miracle. That’s good news.
Consider yourself lucky and move on to the next offer.
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There’s no way for anyone else to know, so I’ll just take a few guesses:
1. She met a man she felt was a better match.
2. She received compensation in some form other than an allowance.
3. She decided it just wasn’t for her after all.
Take your pick.
What I find most interesting is why the person asking thought an answerer—who’s a complete stranger—would know this.
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