[Automation] Hiding Profiles After an Introduction
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I understand that, starting this May, it will no longer be possible to view a woman’s profile after an introduction has been arranged. This is very troubling for me, since I used the profile as one of the criteria for deciding whether to continue seeing someone.
If a woman changed her profile or her rating fluctuated, I took that as a sign that she was looking for someone besides me. Even after meeting several times, I would end things with someone who was still looking for other partners.
I’m not looking for a hostess or sex worker operating independently; I’m looking for a mistress. I have no intention of sharing the woman I’m seeing with other male members. (If I wanted a hostess or sex worker, I would go to an establishment with professionals.)
I imagine there are quite a few male members who feel the same way. Who is this change really for?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
You’re being very self-centered.
Whenever something happens, you seem like the type to say, “Do you have any idea who I am?!”
I’m sure women don’t want to meet men who are seeing multiple partners either. So why is it that you want a woman who only sees one person, while you think it’s fine for yourself to date several women? It makes no sense.
If you’ve decided to focus on just one person, shouldn’t you withdraw from the club? Once you leave, you can’t view the other person’s profile anymore, right?
But if you keep looking for other women yourself while saying the woman you’re seeing isn’t allowed to look for other men, that’s incredibly selfish.
And if your argument is that you’re only searching and aren’t actually seeing anyone else unless things end with that woman, then she may also only be searching without actually dating anyone else.
I don’t think a club will do anything but decline if it adopts the views of people who think, “It’s fine for me, but not for the other person.”
Both men and women want to use a system they can each be comfortable with—and of course, some compromise is necessary.
Would you really pay to register with a dating club where only men were allowed to register and only men were actually registered?
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I have a lot of questions about this.
If you’re satisfied with having just one mistress, then once you start seeing someone, shouldn’t you stop checking profiles here?
Were you checking to see whether she was still “listing her profile even though she’s dating me”? That’s pretty obsessive and honestly a little scary.
Up until now, smart women have been able to contact the club and have their profiles hidden from men they’ve already received an offer from. So there’s a good chance the person asking this question has already been deceived in many ways.
Instead of using underhanded tactics, why not try telling her, “I’ll pay you whatever allowance you need, so become my mistress exclusively”?
If you said that and paid her a generous allowance, then I could understand why you’d be angry.
But demanding that she see only you while offering a low allowance, even though you date multiple women yourself and don’t allow women the same freedom—that’s not exactly fair, and I imagine women would dislike you for it.
The whole system here is based on women sharing time with multiple men and receiving substantial allowances, which is what attracts high-quality female members in the first place, isn’t it?
If you’re looking for a mistress who belongs only to you, shouldn’t you find one on your own?
The women here have their profiles publicly visible to all male members, after all.
Your expectations seem pretty unreasonable.
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I agree with what Kazu wrote.
After meeting her a few times, become the kind of man she won’t want to look for anyone else.
Also, based on your way of thinking, shouldn’t you already be valuing your current partner and not making any more offers after May…? Am I wrong?
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My relationship is more of a kept-partner arrangement too, but honestly, when you continue seeing someone for a long time, it gradually starts to feel that way.
At first, everyone—men and women alike—is suspicious and feeling things out. But as you get to know each other, things naturally become more comfortable.
So don’t worry too much. Just stick with it as one person drops out, then another, and eventually you’ll come out on top（笑）
It’ll really start to feel like a true kept-partner relationship...（笑）
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I believe women can choose to hide their profiles from men they’ve met. If that’s the case, then the criteria you’re using probably don’t mean much.
In any event, it’s less about whether the allowance is high or low. If it doesn’t meet what the other person is looking for, they’ll probably have no choice but to date multiple people.
And even if the arrangement meets those terms, if there are doubts about whether it will continue, then they’ll probably keep seeing multiple people as well.
To begin with, men in dating clubs—including me—are often in a situation where they have a primary partner and one or more others. And if I’m being blunt, the environment makes it easy to keep cycling through partners. Many of these men are either lifelong bachelors or divorced and have never managed to maintain a relationship with just one person. So, without getting into whether they’re simply not very good at sustaining relationships, there’s also the element of luck involved in meeting someone compatible, as well as the ability to recognize a good person. If I were a woman, I certainly wouldn’t narrow it down to just one person that easily.
I’d be far too afraid to narrow things down if a man might cut me off just because I updated my profile.
Having a mistress is arguably more difficult than getting married. Legally, there’s no contractual relationship at all, and the woman is at a disadvantage, so it’s only natural that it would be difficult.
That said, regardless of the truth, women can make things more stable by acting as though they’re seeing only one person, so it’s probably better to behave that way. I think a fair number of women do exactly that—including, perhaps, the female respondents here.
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I’m in a bad mood over the whole Early situation, so I’m going to be blunt: if you can’t find a mistress outside a dating club, I don’t think you’ll be able to “acquire” one through a dating club either.
What the questioner really wants is simply a personal sex toy—there’s no romance or anything else at the root of it, just selfish possessiveness. In short, you want to buy a slave with money, right?
First of all, I’d like to ask the questioner a million times over whether they’re married or single. If you expect fidelity from someone, get married. Marriage is a contract established under civil law for precisely that purpose.
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I really sympathize with the questioner’s perspective.
I was also looking for someone with whom we could each commit exclusively to one another and pursue a serious relationship. (I’ve since met someone like that, so I no longer use dating clubs.) So, as you wrote, if I found out that a woman was the type to immediately start looking for someone else, I would end things. I’d hate to lose that information as a basis for making that judgment.
That said, what I want to tell you is this: Compared with a few years ago, people—both men and women—who genuinely want to face the person they meet through a dating club and build a serious relationship with them have probably become a very small minority.
I think it’s better to recognize that the kind of search for a “mistress” you describe is becoming increasingly unlikely to succeed.
With that understanding, you can either stop using dating clubs—or continue looking for a mistress in pursuit of that slim possibility.
Why not start by acknowledging how difficult the current situation is?
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It’s been a very long time. I’m Ryo, a female member.
If one papa provides enough allowance, dates, and frequency to keep you satisfied, then you don’t need to look for several. But when that isn’t possible, I think that’s when people start seeing multiple supporters.
I’m one of those people myself, though. I usually have around three at any given time.
I used to think I’d probably never meet someone who could make me feel that one person was enough.
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The profile carefully details my regular partner’s likes and interests, so I used it when planning our dates.
It’s not something I use to decide whether to continue seeing her, though lol.
How she spends her time outside of our dates, or whether she looks for someone else, is entirely up to her.
If the club’s rules change, you just have to adapt and find ways to enjoy things within those limits.
You won’t have to worry about unnecessary things, like whether your star rating has gone up, so I think this change is for your benefit too.
—It’s me
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