I’d appreciate some advice on leaving papa-katsu behind.

If that wealthy person is still supporting you in some way other than marriage, then you haven’t really graduated from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), have you? If you have a job, you could say you’ve been transferred. If you’re from out of town, you could say you’re moving back home. Or, if you’ve ever mentioned wanting to get married, you could say that you’re getting married. Whether you continue seeing him or not depends on the person. This was only about a month ago, but someone I had been getting along with started messaging me on LINE every day (I apparently really, really hate that). While I was away playing golf overnight, I left his messages unread. When I got home, there was a letter in my mailbox saying, “I’m worried about you.” That made me feel even more creeped out, so I ignored that too—and then he called my workplace. Of course, I hung up immediately. Then he sent another letter to my home saying, “I’m sorry.” He really didn’t seem like the kind of person who would do something like that, so I was genuinely shocked. Brrr :(；ﾞﾟ'ωﾟ'): Be careful when ending things. Marika

Everyone has their own opinions, but in my case, I always tell her, “Just let me know whenever you want to end the relationship.” So I assume she’ll probably tell me in person when we meet. For us, it isn’t a case of genuine romantic feelings. It’s a mutually beneficial, contractual relationship, and the woman has the final say over the terms. So I don’t think either I or the women I’m seeing would ever become stalkers. I’ve always felt that I’d like to end the relationship in a way that leaves both of us with benefits beyond just money. In any case, I think we’ve both already moved away from what most people would generally call papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Neither of us is struggling financially like we were when we first started seeing each other, so I’m actually curious to see how it will end. Realistically, I’ve never experienced parting ways with a woman I’ve had an adult relationship (intimate) with, so I can’t say for sure… This particular situation is also what prompted me to start answering questions here. Ideally, I’d like her to tell me in person, but I’d also be happy if she told me by phone or LINE. I hope she won’t block me immediately, but instead let us have a relationship where we can enjoy the lingering emotions of saying goodbye. That’s what I intend to do!

I understand how you feel, but there’s a chance they could become persistent, refuse to accept the breakup, interfere with your relationship with a new partner, or even start stalking you. So I think it’s best to: - Not make any future plans - Tell them by LINE that you can no longer meet - Block their contact information

It may be hard to imagine, but why not judge based on the relationship you’ve had so far? With a papa I met three or more times a week, I’d gradually bring it up while we were together. With a papa I met only once or twice a week, I wouldn’t say anything—I’d simply stop contacting him. Personally, I meet whenever a woman contacts me, so with women who are active both through the club and outside it, I sometimes meet them five or six times a week, 24 or 25 times a month, and more than 300 times a year. Because of that, I honestly can’t imagine contact suddenly stopping. When a woman gets married, I’ll usually celebrate with her, so she may continue contacting me afterward. We might have meals together without an allowance, and she may occasionally ask for advice or share worries and secrets she can’t tell her husband. Some women’s husbands even know about me and have introduced themselves, and I’ve met some with the husband’s approval and with spending money provided—without an adult relationship. One way or another, after meeting hundreds of times over one or two years, you’ve spent more time together than with family, so it seems impossible for either of you to imagine a relationship where the other person simply doesn’t exist. Even after a long period without seeing each other, when you finally meet again, you’re so familiar with each other that being together feels completely natural and comforting, as if nothing has changed. Since you’re asking about a papa you want to say goodbye to, I don’t think you need to worry about it at all—especially if there are several of them. Oh, there are also monthly arrangements. If the allowance is transferred monthly, or if it’s 30 or more, I’d bring it up while we were together. If it isn’t transferred monthly and the amount is around 20 or less, I wouldn’t say anything—I’d simply stop contacting him. With a monthly arrangement or an advance payment, you can also tell him early on, “I think I’m probably okay financially now,” or “I don’t think I need the money anymore.”

I’m not sure whether you mean quitting papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) altogether or ending things with all but one papa (male supporter). Looking back, the cleanest ending for me was saying goodbye because I was getting married—that meant graduating from papa-katsu. (Though I was still sad to say goodbye.) Everyone’s different, but if someone told me they were marrying a wealthy person, I’d probably think, “Well, I guess it can’t be helped.” As others have said, please be careful to avoid any trouble.

Even if you bring it up when you meet, it could cause problems depending on the person. So I think it would be better to meet without saying anything, then message them after you part ways, saying something like, “I’m retiring from papa-katsu as of today.” You said you found another good papa, but there’s always a chance you may part ways a few years from now. If you tell him you’re retiring, you’ll still have the option of coming back years later and saying, “I’ve ended up running short on money again. Would you be willing to meet?” (He’ll probably be doing well with someone else by then, but you might be able to see him at least once. The idea is that you could win him over during that one meeting…)

Personally, being thanked in person at the end would only make me feel sadder, so I’d rather she cut things off cleanly with a brief LINE message. Also, if you meet one last time, there’s a chance the man may have accepted the breakup beforehand but change his mind once you see each other, potentially leading to some kind of trouble. Unless you had a particularly deep relationship with him, I recommend not meeting in person.

The other person is someone who “wasn’t chosen,” and you’re planning to end things with a false, feel-good story like, “I’m graduating from papa-katsu!” without telling them that they weren’t chosen or why, right? Sorry for being so blunt. If that’s the case, I don’t think there’s any need to meet. LINE or email should be enough. Otherwise, you’re both just wasting your time. If someone suddenly tells you, “I’m graduating from papa-katsu,” wouldn’t you wonder, “Why?” For the person who wasn’t chosen, the only constructive thing is knowing that fact and the reason behind it. If you’re prepared to tell them, hear their response, and still stand by your conclusion without changing it—and to have both of you accept the outcome—then meeting is fine. But if you’re not, isn’t there really any need to meet? Even if you lie, they’ll normally realize it while talking face-to-face. Then it’s not just the fact that they weren’t chosen; it’s also the fact that they were lied to. How do you think that makes the other person feel? According to the White Paper on Crime, murder victims are killed by relatives in 30.3% of cases, acquaintances in 58.5%, and strangers in 11.1%. Among murders committed by acquaintances, 70% are motivated by “frustration or passion,” “revenge or resentment,” or “romantic and relationship troubles.” People tend to focus on the fear of “being attacked for no reason by some scary stranger,” but the facts are completely different. Saying, “I’ll properly explain why we’re breaking up and bring things to a clean close,” may sound noble, but I think it’s dangerous. If you’re going to do it, you should first be prepared to accept the risks involved. Taro