In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), the person I’m seeing offered to cover all my moving expenses, rent, and other costs. Is it safe to trust them? Is there anything I should be careful about or watch out for?

Let me look at this from the perspective of a creep. Heh heh. If I figure out where she lives and pay her rent, she won’t be able to get away over something minor. So I can push my sexual demands. Plus, I’ve got a free place to hook up now, so I can save on hotel costs—and there’s something exciting about doing it in a woman’s room. Heh heh. Paying a month’s rent is cheaper than meeting her three times on a pay-per-meeting allowance, so it’s like a discounted subscription with unlimited hookups. This is going to be fun. Heh heh. Heh heh. What do you think? Bad feelings are usually right, so please be careful.

It’s Fullerene! Trust yourself and your papa (a male supporter), and give it a try. That said, your relationship with him may change, so be prepared for that. I’ve also helped with moving expenses and rent before. Of course, it came out of my own pocket. We went everywhere together, from visiting real estate agents to shopping for furniture. It wasn’t just about the financial side—she wasn’t sure whether she was making the right decisions, and apparently having someone there made her feel more reassured when the two of us handled things together. (I want her to grow into someone capable, so I don’t spoil her unnecessarily, though haha.) The thing you need to be most careful about is probably your own feelings. If you feel uneasy about your papa but try to overlook it because of the money, I don’t think it will end well. As for specific precautions, make sure you have a firm grasp of your papa’s personal information. I may have mentioned this a few times before, but it’s basically a matter of mutual assured destruction.

How many months have you been seeing this person? How many times a month do you meet, and what kind of dates do you go on? Are they making an effort to build a relationship based on mutual trust—for example, by telling you their real name, family relationships, company, and so on? I’ve been in situations like that several times myself. Even if things were to go badly and they started stalking me, I’d still have ways to deal with it if they were a married CEO or executive with a wife and children and a clearly established identity. Take a close look at their character. If you feel you can trust them after that, I think it’s okay to take the plunge. If you don’t trust them, have them cover only your moving expenses and the furniture for your new place, and choose a home with rent you can afford on your own.

How long do you think your relationship with that papa (a male supporter) will last? You might not even be together three months from now. What would you do if he told you to move out? If you’d be able to cover the rent, maintenance fees, and all your other expenses yourself after the breakup, then it might be okay to accept his offer to pay—even if it’s only at the beginning. But can you really trust him? That way of thinking is frightening. Make your decisions with the future in mind.

It doesn’t seem like there’s anything in particular you need to be especially careful about. Unless it was something you specifically asked for, it sounds like a fairly normal situation. That said, I think it would be better for you to pay your own rent going forward. I see moving expenses and rent as separate from your allowance, just like gifts. However, it isn’t pleasant for a woman to assume that such support is a given, so I don’t think you should take it for granted. Also, just because he arranged the move doesn’t mean he intends to use your room as a hotel, nor does he necessarily want to come over himself. A papa’s feelings are, above all, that he wants to be helpful to the woman. P.S. For men who want to enjoy the relationship—go out together, have fun, and enjoy various experiences—it can feel more rewarding to help with something genuinely necessary, such as moving, rather than simply giving an allowance after an adult relationship (intimate). When it comes to moving, that might mean helping resolve things you don’t understand, visiting real estate agencies with you, handling negotiations that are difficult for you to make, discussing floor plans, searching for and finding properties, viewing them together, helping transport your belongings once the move is arranged, looking for and setting up necessary furniture, or choosing and buying various household items. It isn’t simply a matter of paying the moving costs and being done with it. It becomes a fairly major event involving a lot of interaction and shared tasks—making time for you, thinking things through, discussing them, and actually helping with the move. If you have a relationship where you can comfortably rely on him for these things, then it’s fine to let him take care of them. But if you have any doubts about the relationship, I think it’s better to be cautious about accepting help beyond a certain point. To be perfectly honest, paying moving expenses or rent isn’t that significant financially. Discussing the move, getting advice, and having him involved in various aspects are what really reflect the closeness of the relationship. So I think you should judge whether he’s someone who is willing to consider and help with those things as well. The moving costs would only amount to a few allowances, so from the man’s perspective, it isn’t a particularly large expense. Rather, helping with the move, visiting real estate agencies together, and looking for necessary furniture and appliances require more time, effort, and genuine feeling. Talking through those things with him may give you a better sense of the relationship. Once you understand that side of his feelings, and if you’re thinking about a long-term relationship, I think it would be best for you to pay your own moving costs and rent, while letting him help you look for furniture and appliances as a congratulatory gift or assist with the move.

I’d rate this as a ⑤ on the “severity” scale: ＝＝＝＝＝ ① Provoking the respondent because they want attention, ② no ill intent, but bored and looking for conversation, ③ too lazy to look it up or contact the branch themselves, so they want a quick answer, ④ a simple question, ⑤ genuinely troubled and seriously seeking advice (Severity increases from ① to ⑤.) ＝＝＝＝＝ Depending on the man’s line of work, he may be able to expense the moving costs or rent through his company—perhaps as employee housing. From his perspective, high-income earners generally pay around 50% in taxes. So if the rent is ¥100,000, for example, he could save ¥50,000 in taxes. And if the company is paying, it doesn’t come out of his personal pocket, making it easier for him to do this sort of thing. If I were a man, I might negotiate by saying, “I’ll cover your rent, so make one adult relationship free,” or something like that. Maybe that’s a little stingy, though. Still, the cost probably isn’t hurting his wallet as much as the questioner thinks. So it’s not really something you need to be suspicious about. He benefits from it too. That said, don’t forget to act extremely grateful ← This part is important.

I initially thought it was option ④, but the matter isn’t important enough to bring in the person in charge just to answer someone, so I’ll go with ②. Why is it that the more trivial the customer, the more they want to drag the company president into things? There’s no way for other people to know whether you can trust him, and besides, what exactly are you asking whether you can trust? What you need to be careful about is letting a man know your home address, putting a stranger in charge of your housing, and understanding that if you accept a substantial amount of money, he’ll likely expect or demand something in return. If you’re knowingly entrusting yourself to a man you genuinely trust, that’s one thing. But I don’t think it will end well for someone thoughtless enough to ask a question like this to get a person they barely know to pay for them.