I’m not sure, so I’d appreciate some advice.

I’ll give you a serious answer. I think situations like this happen elsewhere too, but the important thing is to keep your options open. It may have just been a polite gesture, but make sure to properly thank the club for doing that for you. That way, it’ll be easier to give it another try if you change your mind later. Of course, the club may also have been making polite conversation, but at least you haven’t closed off the possibility yourself. That’s what matters. You can’t accomplish anything if you keep thinking, “This probably won’t work.” For example, in retail, repeat customers make up less than 10%. Nine out of ten people won’t come back, but if you smile every time and say, “Please come again,” there’s still a 10% chance that it will lead to the next visit. That’s how it works. Never shut off your own possibilities. Even if you think something won’t work, give it a try. Don’t be afraid of failing. The people who struggle through, even covered in mud, are the ones who can seize their future. You should look up General William McRaven’s tough-love speech on YouTube. People who worry, “What if everyone around me thinks this?” are actually people who can imagine how others feel. If you use that ability in the right direction, you can become a wonderful woman who understands other people’s feelings and acts accordingly. You’re different from those insensitive people who only care about money. With that in mind, I think you should have confidence, while also taking proper care of yourself, and decide how you want to move forward. I wish you the best of luck. Taro

I think declining and failing are two different things. Were you told something like, “You didn’t pass, but would you like to withdraw?” First, they explain how the dating club works and confirm whether it matches what the woman originally had in mind before hearing the details. Some women apparently misunderstand it as something like a rental girlfriend service and come expecting to just wait in a lounge and go on dates. (I don’t know how they get that impression, though.) Some women decide to quit after that explanation. Others say they can’t have an adult relationship (intimate). So I can’t really say why you withdrew this time unless you explain that part. If you want to register, it seems you’ll have to go ahead with the interview instead of withdrawing. Since you wrote that you would reconsider if your feelings changed, I assume you withdrew because something made you uncomfortable. If so, I think you should sort out those feelings first, then ask questions or go for another interview. Right now, it sounds like you’re still not emotionally ready.

Since my job is to register women, I’d probably tell anyone who declined, “If you change your mind, feel free to come back and apply.” Just like Mac, I think women who keep changing their minds are a hassle, so they don’t need to come back.

As male members, we don’t want someone like that to join. No matter how attractive she is, it’s a major problem if she changes her mind easily, isn’t fully committed, or is the queen of last-minute cancellations. When they say, “Come back if you change your mind,” they don’t mean “if you happen to change your mind.” They mean, “once you’ve made up your mind for sure.” Even if you contact them again, please don’t misunderstand that point. P.S. Personally, I’d choose option ⑤. It’s an immature and childish question, but if she can recognize that, she may still have room to grow.